Ladies, this is about the men.

As I've been seeking God with my whole heart, he is really beginning to show me what it means to be a woman. Not only a woman as a bride to our Father, but a woman who understands what she needs to be to a man here on Earth. Ladies, it's time we stop taking away the masculinity of men. The thing that brought this to my full awareness was watching a beautiful young girl at a wedding this past weekend. Watching her and her husband broke my heart.

I'm a people watcher at weddings. I'm not a dancer, but a wallflower. So, I spend a lot of time in observation mode taking around my surroundings. There was a couple, only married for a few years, having a blast during the anniversary dance at the wedding. That fun dance that no one gets to take part in if they aren't married. That dance that continues on until the couple that has been married the longest is on the dance floor alone. It's precious really. But, there was this young couple out there laughing and having such a good time. Everything was fine from the outside perspective. Then, about an hour later the young girl is sitting by another woman, pouting. The woman asked her what was wrong and the young girl responded, "Oh, he's just being stupid. I'm mad at him"... and the list continues. Then, no sooner then she had said that her husband comes back to the table with a beer in his hand after having some laughs with his guy friends. He sits down and turns to his young wife with a smile on his face and she returns the hated pout. He asked her what was wrong and the young girl responded, "Nothing. You just make me mad." Then, she preceded to pout. This young husband sat there trying to coax her into smiling because honestly, I don't think the poor guy even knew what he had done wrong. Actually, I can bet money that he didn't do anything wrong and that the young girl was listening to every single lie in the book that the enemy was throwing in her direction. Did you know that once you become vulnerable and listen to one little lie from the enemy that he takes advantage of that and opens up door after door after door? He knows what he's doing. I just wanted to shake her and hit myself all at the same time because 1. I knew what was going on in her mind and I wanted to hold her and not let her go and 2. I knew that I had done the same thing in the past and this was God really teaching me, convicting me, and embracing me. It's time we all learn how to treat our men with respect.

I sat there and my heart instantly broke. I knew exactly what was going on in this young girl's mind and I didn't even know her name. She was insecure. She was probably thinking that because her husband wasn't right by her side that he didn't love her. She was probably thinking that because he didn't want to dance with her that she wasn't good enough to be seen with. I could take up this entire blog with thoughts that I can guarantee were going through her mind. She was insecure. And there was nothing her husband could do to fix that for her. She wanted her way and she didn't get it, so what did she do? She said there and proclaimed that nothing was wrong and pouted. I sat there and just wanted to shake her and tell her to stop listening to those lies. I wanted to hug the husband because he was trying so hard to make her happy even though he had done nothing wrong to begin with. Ladies, men are not stupid. When we say "nothing", they know it's "something". Again, they are not stupid. We have minds that are like wires. Absolutely everything is connected to something else within our mind. Men have minds like boxes. Absolutely nothing connects and they actually do have a 'nothing' box. Men know this. If you say that nothing is wrong, they will work their hardest to try to provide a solution for your unhappiness because whether you say it or not, they know something's wrong. And ladies, there is no reason that these men need to work so hard to get an answer out of us. Can't we just pray for humility and love our men the way that God intended us to? Can't we just pray and send the enemy and his lies to Christ's feet? We need to start.

Ladies, it's time to stop taking away the masculinity of men. Men received the curse of Adam. In the very beginning of our story, they received a curse.

Genesis 3:17-19 --
“Cursed is the ground because of you;
    through painful toil you will eat food from it
    all the days of your life. 
 It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
    and you will eat the plants of the field. 
By the sweat of your brow 
    you will eat your food 
until you return to the ground,
    since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
    and to dust you will return.”

Men were cursed with the need to provide. They work and they work and they work. Why? Because that's the way they were cursed. They are all built with the need to provide in their heart. They want to provide for us. Can we let them?! Do not bottle up your emotions and hide your heart from them. That hurts them, deep. I've experienced it first hand from my own actions. It hurts them deep in just the way that observing the young girl's actions at the wedding hurt my heart deep. Seeing the way that you have behaved in the past right in front of your face is a conviction that will hit you hard. Ladies, we have to stop. When we say that nothing is wrong - they know that something is wrong. Do not take away the blessing of their provision. They desire to provide and help you walk with Christ. They desire to love you the way that Christ loves the church. They want to protect you and care for you. Let them.

Us as women were also cursed thanks to Eve. Genesis 3:16 -- "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you". Ladies, thanks to Eve this is our curse. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change it. Do you ever wonder why we so desperately seek our husbands love and attention? It's because of Eve. Understand this! We need to stop expecting our husbands, boyfriends, fiances, our men to fulfill all of our needs. Only the Lord can fulfill everything our heart desires. We need to stop placing expectations on the men in our lives. We are breaking them. The more we place expectations on them.. the more we become disappointed.. and this all makes our men feel more inadequate which hurts them deep because it's part of their curse to provide for us! When they feel they can't provide, i.e. meet the expectations we place on them because our desire is so great for their attention, they feel even more broken than they felt to begin with and they will try desperately to fix the issue when the issue probably isn't even about them, nor is it even an issue they can fix.

Ladies, stop taking away the masculinity of our men. We need to yes, submit. This doesn't mean become weak, let them walk all over you, stop following your own dreams and desires. This means, love them the way that we are supposed to love them. We need to support them, encourage them, and let them provide. And when they mess up? Do not break them down even more! I can guarantee that they are trying as hard as they can. Especially, Christian men who love the Lord with their whole heart. They are trying. Let them try! Us as women do this thing -- if a man doesn't respond the way we want them to we get upset. Then, we may talk about it with them and they may listen. The next time we see them -- they are actually doing what we asked to begin with, but now we find something wrong with this. For example, a few weeks ago I was angry because I felt shunned and I felt like I was treated with a huge amount of disrespect from the man that I love. Therefore, I talked to him about it and he expressed to me that it wouldn't happen again, that he was sorry, and that he didn't even realize he was doing it. The next week he was very friendly towards me, asking me what I was doing after church, asking me where I was eating, etc. I left the church angry at him, yet again, and this time it was because he was talking to me and trying to figure out what I was doing when we were on a break. I felt like it wasn't any of his business. What was I thinking?! I had just sat down and expressed to him that I wanted him to be friendly towards me and when he took the initiative and listened, I shunned him! Ladies, we have to stop doing this to our men.

After that wedding and watching the young couple with their pouting, laughs, and insecurities my heart fully broke for our men. Ladies, let's try to love them the way that God intended us to love them and stop taking away their masculinity. Today, I was told by a young believer that I work with, (who I had been talking about Jesus with for the past several weeks) that my faith and my strength inspired her. I have been on a break with my relationship for the past month now and have done nothing but dive into my community, dive into God, dive into my heart, and dive into positive thinking. Apparently, this young girl took notice and found it so encouraging. She explained that she was so inspired because she had not heard one negative word out of my mouth about the man that I'm apart from right now. She said that generally when something happens in a relationship, such as a break, that people aren't normally positive and strong. She said that I was and that she was encouraged because I had only spoken positive things about what I've learned, about the break itself, and about the man that has my heart. That struck my heart and made me tear up a little bit. It was encouraging that I was positive about the man in my life.

Ladies, we need to allow our men to provide, to pray for us, to give us their input and advice. Actually, we should ask for their input and advice -- they desire to give it! We need to try to enjoy what they enjoy - meaning, if they like football.. learn about it! Don't you expect them to at least attempt to enjoy what you enjoy? Like, I don't know -- romantic comedies and shopping? It's what God calls sacrificial love and our men need it just as much as we need it. It means so much to their hearts and it brings glory to God. Allow our men to be masculine. Don't pick out their flaws in front of their friends. Don't question their finances, bills, and debts. Don't be a backseat driver and allow them to drive whether they really know where they're going or not. We want to feel loved, correct? Then, let our men do what God intended our men to do. Provide. Care. Support. Be masculine. That's how they love us! Let them and send them love right back! And ladies, if you still don't feel loved or fulfilled and you find yourself continually seeking and searching -- then you're searching and seeking in the wrong area! Seek God first. Then, through that he will bless you with a man that wants to love you the way that God intended love to be.

We live in a spiritual world that is full of spiritual warfare. Ephesians 6:12 -- For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ladies, let us redirect our actions towards the right victim, not our men. We are not damsels in distress that need saved. Christ has already saved us if we've taken Him into our hearts and allowed Him to be a part of our life -- our whole life. Men cannot rescue us. Stop expecting them to. We need to be strong, faithful, supportive, WOMEN OF CHRIST.

We are Christ's beloved daughters.
Let's start behaving that way. Let's start loving our men.