I can't believe it has been a little over a year since I last blogged. I love writing and it seems I only allow myself to write when my life seems a little too hard. Therefore, I guess it isn't much of a surprise that I have felt the urge to blog again. Life got hard.
Life has been a bit of a struggle the past several months (as well as currently), but, tonight I felt so romanced and loved on by God that all I wanted to do when I returned to my home was sit down with my laptop on my lap and let my fingers have a go with the keyboard.
After having an extremely large breakdown last night feeling overwhelmed with life and taking it all out on my best friend, all throughout the day today God was bringing things to my attention. He was reminding me of things I had already been aware of, but allowed to leave my mind in the heat of battle.
Satan is an enemy. Satan is a villain. Satan is real. Satan lives in the world we live in. We live in a spiritual world. Today, God poured grace on me and reminded me of a little touch of Satan's schemes.
Scheme One:
Satan will use pride to destroy. Pride is one of Satan's favorite go-to's for me. Luckily though, God created us with His Spirit living inside of us. That Spirit consists of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22) We have to remember that we were fearfully and wonderfully made. We have to remember that we were created to further God's kingdom here on Earth. We have to remember that we were created to be the lights sitting on top of the table and not hiding underneath it. Satan knows this. Pride is an ugly, ugly, ugly thing. When I allow pride to take over, self-control goes out the window. In these moments, I let Satan win. Pride will devour everything in its path. For example, last night, my boyfriend Micah, was letting me in on his desires for his and our future. He was telling me how it looked to him. I was already overwhelmed and angry about a million other things and everything he was telling me was not appealing to me at all. Therefore, I shut down. I yelled. I said really hurtful things. And you know what the worst thing of it all was? Everything that Micah was saying he wanted for our future were all things I had fantasized for my own future. I have had a strong desire in my heart for everything he had mentioned. But, I allowed pride to take over and speak words that I didn't mean. Satan knows how to use his weapons.
Scheme Two:
Taking scheme one and leading right into the second one, Satan knows how to use his weapons and he also knows when he is being threatened. Micah and I have had a lot of issues in our relationship. We have yelled, fought, threatened, and we have both said really hurtful things to the other. Satan knows when he has a threat and he will do whatever he can to destroy that threat. I know that Micah and I, together, are a huge threat to Satan. I know that when the two of us are both fully embracing and living in the Spirit we can tremendously grow God's kingdom here on Earth. Satan knows when something is a threat and he knows what to do to push it apart. We cannot allow him to get a foothold.
Scheme Three:
Satan will attempt to get us to hold on to our flesh for as long as we will allow him. I have realized that for the past three years, since I really started learning and running towards a life with Christ, I have actually been continuously trying to hold on to little bits and pieces of my old self. When we choose to follow Christ, we are a new creation. I remember writing an entire blog about it a few blogs back. Satan does not want us to lose our old self with its worldly desires and he will do whatever he can for us to keep holding on to it. He gets into our head and tells us that we need it, that it's who we are. We cannot allow Satan to tell us who we are. We are not who we were. We are children of God. And, let me say right now that our souls will always feel empty until we allow our old self to be completely forgotten and to fill it up with Christ. We have to let go of that comfort that we seem to have in our old self in order to fully experience life the way that God intended us to.
These three huge reminders hit me all throughout the day today. Then, on the drive home tonight as I was immersed in Hillsong's "Oceans", I looked at the sky. I really looked at the sky. The sun was setting, so the beauty was there. It was a light orange, with some reds and yellows. The sun was dipping behind a cloud with sun rays coming to Earth. While this beauty was happening, looming over all of it was a giant gray rain cloud. It was dark, cloudy, and dim. It reminded me of that rhino from the movie James and the Giant Peach (one of my favorites). This rhino came out of nowhere and ate up James' parents. It seemed to hover and haunt him the rest of the movie. The rhino represented James' fear. This giant rain cloud reminded me of that rhino. It also reminded me of Satan. He wants us to fear him. He wants to win. He is the villain, just like the rhino. As I was watching the rain cloud, it started to actually rain. A light drizzle, falling from the sky over the sunset, over the sun rays. The light touch of rain equivalent to the light touch of our God. The beauty within the beast.
The sunset mixed with that rain cloud is what really inspired me to blog tonight. Thinking back on last night, my life in general, and my unknown future. God's plan for us is good. No matter what circumstances life is throwing at us right now, throws at us tomorrow, or throws at us years from now - God will be in it.
With God we are more than conquerors. The enemy is scheming around every corner waiting for the most opportune time to pounce. We have to be aware of his schemes and we have to have faith that our God will always prevail.
With God NOTHING is impossible.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Friday, August 17, 2012
Shine brighter than a shooting star, no matter where you are.
There have been two things on my heart lately -- broken people and positive thinking. They seem to be two completely different things, right? Wrong. They are both things that come from God. They are both things that can glorify God. And I personally think that's pretty great.
We all have hard days, weeks, months, and years. Honestly, I wouldn't classify this past year of mine as being something that was easy in any means. Since when were we promised that a Christian life was going to be easy? If everything in life went smoothly, the way we wanted, and in perfect rhythm to the beat that we enjoyed -- when would we ever need to rely on God? We wouldn't.
This past year I went through many downs as opposed to the ups. Let's start off with saying how I fell for boy after boy in the very beginning continuing to get my heart ripped apart and then I somehow ended up with someone who was just as broken (if not more), just as prideful (if not more), and who challenged me to a point I never thought possible. Let's continue by talking about the fact that my only brother, my only sibling, left for the Army and now lives a 17 hour road trip away from me. Or how about the fact that my best friend, since I was five years old, and I have had way too many trials and tribulations that one year should ever be allowed to take? Or the fact that my car finally decided to take a turn for the worse and force me to purchase a new car (that caused a huge trial on its own) and then to have that new car hit by someone who didn't even leave a note -- just a huge dent in my driver's side door that I have no money to fix it with? Or how about the fact that I deleted from my life (via Facebook) every single one of my friends from high school who I had spent the entirety of my high school years with -- best friends of mine for years who I had come to realize had actually caused way too many wounds in my heart to even begin counting? Imagine taking on that truth in your heart and let that sink in. Also, God had placed me in a relationship throughout this entire time of my life with a man that was opposite of me in so many ways that caused my issues and insecurities come out full throttle amidst all of these other things in my year. Did you think that was something that was easy? That caused me to sit back and actually deal with my issues, fears, insecurities, and things that I had made peace with in my heart for years. Or how about the huge fact that I stepped out of my comfort zone and took a 15 hour plane ride to another country to tell people about Jesus? This definitely was not easy. That took more courage then I think I've ever had to muster. How about the fact that I've now been in school for such a long amount of time that I am now going to have to eventually pay out of pocket? Do you think that hasn't caused me some stress or frustration at feeling I've wasted time in school not knowing exactly what I wanted to do with my life and am now paying for it? How about the fact that I've had to sit and realize how much of an ugly, broken, angry, mean individual I can be? How about the fact that I had to spend a night in an emergency room waiting for endless hours feeling completely hopeless as the boy that I love rolled around on the floor in pain and I could do nothing to help him, while questioning what was going on in my mind the entire time? Do you know the thoughts that raced through my mind? My list of hard times this past year can continue to be written down, but I think you get my point. None of us, especially as Christians, are going to have easy years. If we did, when would we ever find the time or the desire to spend time with God?
Now, we are all broken people. I don't know how many times I've talked about this, but I know it's been quite a bit. We are all different -- different pasts, different struggles, different insecurities, and all hold different types of bondage. And to top that off we all have different personalities, fears, and needs as well. God created us to be different. We are all so different because we are all a part of the body of Christ. We need each other to glorify God. We need to humble ourselves and deal with our issues, so that we can glorify and love the way that God desires us to. Another thing that I am a firm believer in -- opposite people attracting each other. God places all of us humans together in this world, all so different from each other, and expects us to love each other? I'm not just talking about romantic relationships either. I'm talking romantic, family, and friendships. I have a friend who told me this awhile back and I've continued to think about it day in and day out. She said that "God puts us with someone we have things in common with, but a lot of times our brokenness plays off of each other and forces us to no longer be able to ignore our issues. But, if we aren't careful we can allow Satan a foothold in these issues and push away the plan that the Lord created for us. It takes communication and the capability to be humble in your relationship to work through and recognize our broken areas and allow someone to love on them". When I look at this statement I think of every single relationship that God puts in our life. Yes, it initially is referring to a romantic relationship, but I think it can refer to every relationship we have in our lives. We are all broken and we all need each other. When issues start arising in relationships in your life -- why do you think that is? I'll tell you. 1. Ephesians 6:12 -- For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. We live in a world that is full of spiritual darkness and forces of evil. Evil that does whatever it can so that you allow it to take a foothold in your life and push away anything that may be glorifying to God. We have an enemy. We have an enemy that will do whatever it takes to stop you from becoming strong in the kingdom of God. We need to recognize this. 2. This one goes along with what my friend said awhile back -- when these issues arise, I see God in them. God wants our hearts to be transformed and He will do what it takes for that transformation. We must let Him. When things start to rear their ugly head more than usual, I see that as God wanting our hearts and there not being anything we can do to stop it. We must submit to Him. We must submit to Him our pain, our hurt, our bondage, and our wounds. We must submit to Him, so that our hearts can become transformed and bound up -- healed. Psalm 147:3 -- He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Can't we just let Him and stop seeing the negative in our lives? God is in transformation, in brokenness, and in hard times.
James 1:2-4 -- Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
1 Corinthians 10:13 -- No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you cannot bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
It's right there in scripture. TRUTH. When we view things such as what I mentioned above as negative, half empty type things -- we are missing the point. We need to start looking at the bigger picture. We are all broken because we need each other. 1 Corinthians 12:14-15 -- Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many. Now if the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason stop being part of the body". Again, it's right there in scripture. We need each other. Our brokenness plays off of each other in such a beautiful way. It's glorifying to God. We need to always remember that Satan is at work in this world and that no matter what we do -- especially if we live a Christian life -- it will be hard because we are fighting a spiritual war. We also need to remember that with Christ by our side we will be victorious. Therefore, we will have hard days, weeks, months, and years -- but we will always have Christ to get us through.
We need to start recognizing how beautiful everything is. I can look up at my first paragraph describing everything 'hard' that I went through this year and I can still look at all of it as half full as opposed to empty. If I see God in it -- which He is in all of it -- I see beauty from ashes. Here's some examples -- my brother joined the Army and now he is doing something that he loves, fighting for our freedom, and I now have an opportunity to actually go on a road trip. My new car now has a huge dent in the side of it -- every time I see it I think of driving back to the house I was at and crying into the back of a Clemson shirt because I was so upset and then that boy being there to comfort me and being able to offer me his strength and encouraging words. I also think of India every time that I see that dent now because it happened after a meeting for the trip to India. Going about deleting those old friends from my life has caused me to really start to let God love on me and heal my wounded heart regardless of how hard it may have been. Then, my issues beginning to arise just meant that God was working on my transformation just like He promised He would do. Fights with my best friend -- has made our friendship more stronger than it ever was. And last but not least -- spending that night in the emergency room scared to death over what was going on -- him and I joined together and prayed for a half an hour straight and were fully able to rely on God in a moment of pain and fear and I was able to offer the support that He needed at the time; we were able to be vulnerable with one another.
The glass is always half full if you can see God in it.
Here's something for you -- God is always in it.
We were never told that life as Christians would be easy. Have faith in God -- He doesn't bring us to things that He won't bring us through. Again, if life were easy and people were perfect when would we ever desire to love on broken people and rely on a victorious God?
We wouldn't.
We all have hard days, weeks, months, and years. Honestly, I wouldn't classify this past year of mine as being something that was easy in any means. Since when were we promised that a Christian life was going to be easy? If everything in life went smoothly, the way we wanted, and in perfect rhythm to the beat that we enjoyed -- when would we ever need to rely on God? We wouldn't.
This past year I went through many downs as opposed to the ups. Let's start off with saying how I fell for boy after boy in the very beginning continuing to get my heart ripped apart and then I somehow ended up with someone who was just as broken (if not more), just as prideful (if not more), and who challenged me to a point I never thought possible. Let's continue by talking about the fact that my only brother, my only sibling, left for the Army and now lives a 17 hour road trip away from me. Or how about the fact that my best friend, since I was five years old, and I have had way too many trials and tribulations that one year should ever be allowed to take? Or the fact that my car finally decided to take a turn for the worse and force me to purchase a new car (that caused a huge trial on its own) and then to have that new car hit by someone who didn't even leave a note -- just a huge dent in my driver's side door that I have no money to fix it with? Or how about the fact that I deleted from my life (via Facebook) every single one of my friends from high school who I had spent the entirety of my high school years with -- best friends of mine for years who I had come to realize had actually caused way too many wounds in my heart to even begin counting? Imagine taking on that truth in your heart and let that sink in. Also, God had placed me in a relationship throughout this entire time of my life with a man that was opposite of me in so many ways that caused my issues and insecurities come out full throttle amidst all of these other things in my year. Did you think that was something that was easy? That caused me to sit back and actually deal with my issues, fears, insecurities, and things that I had made peace with in my heart for years. Or how about the huge fact that I stepped out of my comfort zone and took a 15 hour plane ride to another country to tell people about Jesus? This definitely was not easy. That took more courage then I think I've ever had to muster. How about the fact that I've now been in school for such a long amount of time that I am now going to have to eventually pay out of pocket? Do you think that hasn't caused me some stress or frustration at feeling I've wasted time in school not knowing exactly what I wanted to do with my life and am now paying for it? How about the fact that I've had to sit and realize how much of an ugly, broken, angry, mean individual I can be? How about the fact that I had to spend a night in an emergency room waiting for endless hours feeling completely hopeless as the boy that I love rolled around on the floor in pain and I could do nothing to help him, while questioning what was going on in my mind the entire time? Do you know the thoughts that raced through my mind? My list of hard times this past year can continue to be written down, but I think you get my point. None of us, especially as Christians, are going to have easy years. If we did, when would we ever find the time or the desire to spend time with God?
Now, we are all broken people. I don't know how many times I've talked about this, but I know it's been quite a bit. We are all different -- different pasts, different struggles, different insecurities, and all hold different types of bondage. And to top that off we all have different personalities, fears, and needs as well. God created us to be different. We are all so different because we are all a part of the body of Christ. We need each other to glorify God. We need to humble ourselves and deal with our issues, so that we can glorify and love the way that God desires us to. Another thing that I am a firm believer in -- opposite people attracting each other. God places all of us humans together in this world, all so different from each other, and expects us to love each other? I'm not just talking about romantic relationships either. I'm talking romantic, family, and friendships. I have a friend who told me this awhile back and I've continued to think about it day in and day out. She said that "God puts us with someone we have things in common with, but a lot of times our brokenness plays off of each other and forces us to no longer be able to ignore our issues. But, if we aren't careful we can allow Satan a foothold in these issues and push away the plan that the Lord created for us. It takes communication and the capability to be humble in your relationship to work through and recognize our broken areas and allow someone to love on them". When I look at this statement I think of every single relationship that God puts in our life. Yes, it initially is referring to a romantic relationship, but I think it can refer to every relationship we have in our lives. We are all broken and we all need each other. When issues start arising in relationships in your life -- why do you think that is? I'll tell you. 1. Ephesians 6:12 -- For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. We live in a world that is full of spiritual darkness and forces of evil. Evil that does whatever it can so that you allow it to take a foothold in your life and push away anything that may be glorifying to God. We have an enemy. We have an enemy that will do whatever it takes to stop you from becoming strong in the kingdom of God. We need to recognize this. 2. This one goes along with what my friend said awhile back -- when these issues arise, I see God in them. God wants our hearts to be transformed and He will do what it takes for that transformation. We must let Him. When things start to rear their ugly head more than usual, I see that as God wanting our hearts and there not being anything we can do to stop it. We must submit to Him. We must submit to Him our pain, our hurt, our bondage, and our wounds. We must submit to Him, so that our hearts can become transformed and bound up -- healed. Psalm 147:3 -- He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Can't we just let Him and stop seeing the negative in our lives? God is in transformation, in brokenness, and in hard times.
James 1:2-4 -- Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
1 Corinthians 10:13 -- No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you cannot bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
It's right there in scripture. TRUTH. When we view things such as what I mentioned above as negative, half empty type things -- we are missing the point. We need to start looking at the bigger picture. We are all broken because we need each other. 1 Corinthians 12:14-15 -- Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many. Now if the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason stop being part of the body". Again, it's right there in scripture. We need each other. Our brokenness plays off of each other in such a beautiful way. It's glorifying to God. We need to always remember that Satan is at work in this world and that no matter what we do -- especially if we live a Christian life -- it will be hard because we are fighting a spiritual war. We also need to remember that with Christ by our side we will be victorious. Therefore, we will have hard days, weeks, months, and years -- but we will always have Christ to get us through.
We need to start recognizing how beautiful everything is. I can look up at my first paragraph describing everything 'hard' that I went through this year and I can still look at all of it as half full as opposed to empty. If I see God in it -- which He is in all of it -- I see beauty from ashes. Here's some examples -- my brother joined the Army and now he is doing something that he loves, fighting for our freedom, and I now have an opportunity to actually go on a road trip. My new car now has a huge dent in the side of it -- every time I see it I think of driving back to the house I was at and crying into the back of a Clemson shirt because I was so upset and then that boy being there to comfort me and being able to offer me his strength and encouraging words. I also think of India every time that I see that dent now because it happened after a meeting for the trip to India. Going about deleting those old friends from my life has caused me to really start to let God love on me and heal my wounded heart regardless of how hard it may have been. Then, my issues beginning to arise just meant that God was working on my transformation just like He promised He would do. Fights with my best friend -- has made our friendship more stronger than it ever was. And last but not least -- spending that night in the emergency room scared to death over what was going on -- him and I joined together and prayed for a half an hour straight and were fully able to rely on God in a moment of pain and fear and I was able to offer the support that He needed at the time; we were able to be vulnerable with one another.
The glass is always half full if you can see God in it.
Here's something for you -- God is always in it.
We were never told that life as Christians would be easy. Have faith in God -- He doesn't bring us to things that He won't bring us through. Again, if life were easy and people were perfect when would we ever desire to love on broken people and rely on a victorious God?
We wouldn't.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Ladies, this is about the men.
As I've been seeking God with my whole heart, he is really beginning to show me what it means to be a woman. Not only a woman as a bride to our Father, but a woman who understands what she needs to be to a man here on Earth. Ladies, it's time we stop taking away the masculinity of men. The thing that brought this to my full awareness was watching a beautiful young girl at a wedding this past weekend. Watching her and her husband broke my heart.
I'm a people watcher at weddings. I'm not a dancer, but a wallflower. So, I spend a lot of time in observation mode taking around my surroundings. There was a couple, only married for a few years, having a blast during the anniversary dance at the wedding. That fun dance that no one gets to take part in if they aren't married. That dance that continues on until the couple that has been married the longest is on the dance floor alone. It's precious really. But, there was this young couple out there laughing and having such a good time. Everything was fine from the outside perspective. Then, about an hour later the young girl is sitting by another woman, pouting. The woman asked her what was wrong and the young girl responded, "Oh, he's just being stupid. I'm mad at him"... and the list continues. Then, no sooner then she had said that her husband comes back to the table with a beer in his hand after having some laughs with his guy friends. He sits down and turns to his young wife with a smile on his face and she returns the hated pout. He asked her what was wrong and the young girl responded, "Nothing. You just make me mad." Then, she preceded to pout. This young husband sat there trying to coax her into smiling because honestly, I don't think the poor guy even knew what he had done wrong. Actually, I can bet money that he didn't do anything wrong and that the young girl was listening to every single lie in the book that the enemy was throwing in her direction. Did you know that once you become vulnerable and listen to one little lie from the enemy that he takes advantage of that and opens up door after door after door? He knows what he's doing. I just wanted to shake her and hit myself all at the same time because 1. I knew what was going on in her mind and I wanted to hold her and not let her go and 2. I knew that I had done the same thing in the past and this was God really teaching me, convicting me, and embracing me. It's time we all learn how to treat our men with respect.
I sat there and my heart instantly broke. I knew exactly what was going on in this young girl's mind and I didn't even know her name. She was insecure. She was probably thinking that because her husband wasn't right by her side that he didn't love her. She was probably thinking that because he didn't want to dance with her that she wasn't good enough to be seen with. I could take up this entire blog with thoughts that I can guarantee were going through her mind. She was insecure. And there was nothing her husband could do to fix that for her. She wanted her way and she didn't get it, so what did she do? She said there and proclaimed that nothing was wrong and pouted. I sat there and just wanted to shake her and tell her to stop listening to those lies. I wanted to hug the husband because he was trying so hard to make her happy even though he had done nothing wrong to begin with. Ladies, men are not stupid. When we say "nothing", they know it's "something". Again, they are not stupid. We have minds that are like wires. Absolutely everything is connected to something else within our mind. Men have minds like boxes. Absolutely nothing connects and they actually do have a 'nothing' box. Men know this. If you say that nothing is wrong, they will work their hardest to try to provide a solution for your unhappiness because whether you say it or not, they know something's wrong. And ladies, there is no reason that these men need to work so hard to get an answer out of us. Can't we just pray for humility and love our men the way that God intended us to? Can't we just pray and send the enemy and his lies to Christ's feet? We need to start.
Ladies, it's time to stop taking away the masculinity of men. Men received the curse of Adam. In the very beginning of our story, they received a curse.
Genesis 3:17-19 --
“Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat food from it
all the days of your life.
It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
and you will eat the plants of the field.
By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return.”
Men were cursed with the need to provide. They work and they work and they work. Why? Because that's the way they were cursed. They are all built with the need to provide in their heart. They want to provide for us. Can we let them?! Do not bottle up your emotions and hide your heart from them. That hurts them, deep. I've experienced it first hand from my own actions. It hurts them deep in just the way that observing the young girl's actions at the wedding hurt my heart deep. Seeing the way that you have behaved in the past right in front of your face is a conviction that will hit you hard. Ladies, we have to stop. When we say that nothing is wrong - they know that something is wrong. Do not take away the blessing of their provision. They desire to provide and help you walk with Christ. They desire to love you the way that Christ loves the church. They want to protect you and care for you. Let them.
Us as women were also cursed thanks to Eve. Genesis 3:16 -- "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you". Ladies, thanks to Eve this is our curse. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change it. Do you ever wonder why we so desperately seek our husbands love and attention? It's because of Eve. Understand this! We need to stop expecting our husbands, boyfriends, fiances, our men to fulfill all of our needs. Only the Lord can fulfill everything our heart desires. We need to stop placing expectations on the men in our lives. We are breaking them. The more we place expectations on them.. the more we become disappointed.. and this all makes our men feel more inadequate which hurts them deep because it's part of their curse to provide for us! When they feel they can't provide, i.e. meet the expectations we place on them because our desire is so great for their attention, they feel even more broken than they felt to begin with and they will try desperately to fix the issue when the issue probably isn't even about them, nor is it even an issue they can fix.
Ladies, stop taking away the masculinity of our men. We need to yes, submit. This doesn't mean become weak, let them walk all over you, stop following your own dreams and desires. This means, love them the way that we are supposed to love them. We need to support them, encourage them, and let them provide. And when they mess up? Do not break them down even more! I can guarantee that they are trying as hard as they can. Especially, Christian men who love the Lord with their whole heart. They are trying. Let them try! Us as women do this thing -- if a man doesn't respond the way we want them to we get upset. Then, we may talk about it with them and they may listen. The next time we see them -- they are actually doing what we asked to begin with, but now we find something wrong with this. For example, a few weeks ago I was angry because I felt shunned and I felt like I was treated with a huge amount of disrespect from the man that I love. Therefore, I talked to him about it and he expressed to me that it wouldn't happen again, that he was sorry, and that he didn't even realize he was doing it. The next week he was very friendly towards me, asking me what I was doing after church, asking me where I was eating, etc. I left the church angry at him, yet again, and this time it was because he was talking to me and trying to figure out what I was doing when we were on a break. I felt like it wasn't any of his business. What was I thinking?! I had just sat down and expressed to him that I wanted him to be friendly towards me and when he took the initiative and listened, I shunned him! Ladies, we have to stop doing this to our men.
After that wedding and watching the young couple with their pouting, laughs, and insecurities my heart fully broke for our men. Ladies, let's try to love them the way that God intended us to love them and stop taking away their masculinity. Today, I was told by a young believer that I work with, (who I had been talking about Jesus with for the past several weeks) that my faith and my strength inspired her. I have been on a break with my relationship for the past month now and have done nothing but dive into my community, dive into God, dive into my heart, and dive into positive thinking. Apparently, this young girl took notice and found it so encouraging. She explained that she was so inspired because she had not heard one negative word out of my mouth about the man that I'm apart from right now. She said that generally when something happens in a relationship, such as a break, that people aren't normally positive and strong. She said that I was and that she was encouraged because I had only spoken positive things about what I've learned, about the break itself, and about the man that has my heart. That struck my heart and made me tear up a little bit. It was encouraging that I was positive about the man in my life.
Ladies, we need to allow our men to provide, to pray for us, to give us their input and advice. Actually, we should ask for their input and advice -- they desire to give it! We need to try to enjoy what they enjoy - meaning, if they like football.. learn about it! Don't you expect them to at least attempt to enjoy what you enjoy? Like, I don't know -- romantic comedies and shopping? It's what God calls sacrificial love and our men need it just as much as we need it. It means so much to their hearts and it brings glory to God. Allow our men to be masculine. Don't pick out their flaws in front of their friends. Don't question their finances, bills, and debts. Don't be a backseat driver and allow them to drive whether they really know where they're going or not. We want to feel loved, correct? Then, let our men do what God intended our men to do. Provide. Care. Support. Be masculine. That's how they love us! Let them and send them love right back! And ladies, if you still don't feel loved or fulfilled and you find yourself continually seeking and searching -- then you're searching and seeking in the wrong area! Seek God first. Then, through that he will bless you with a man that wants to love you the way that God intended love to be.
We live in a spiritual world that is full of spiritual warfare. Ephesians 6:12 -- For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ladies, let us redirect our actions towards the right victim, not our men. We are not damsels in distress that need saved. Christ has already saved us if we've taken Him into our hearts and allowed Him to be a part of our life -- our whole life. Men cannot rescue us. Stop expecting them to. We need to be strong, faithful, supportive, WOMEN OF CHRIST.
We are Christ's beloved daughters.
Let's start behaving that way. Let's start loving our men.
I'm a people watcher at weddings. I'm not a dancer, but a wallflower. So, I spend a lot of time in observation mode taking around my surroundings. There was a couple, only married for a few years, having a blast during the anniversary dance at the wedding. That fun dance that no one gets to take part in if they aren't married. That dance that continues on until the couple that has been married the longest is on the dance floor alone. It's precious really. But, there was this young couple out there laughing and having such a good time. Everything was fine from the outside perspective. Then, about an hour later the young girl is sitting by another woman, pouting. The woman asked her what was wrong and the young girl responded, "Oh, he's just being stupid. I'm mad at him"... and the list continues. Then, no sooner then she had said that her husband comes back to the table with a beer in his hand after having some laughs with his guy friends. He sits down and turns to his young wife with a smile on his face and she returns the hated pout. He asked her what was wrong and the young girl responded, "Nothing. You just make me mad." Then, she preceded to pout. This young husband sat there trying to coax her into smiling because honestly, I don't think the poor guy even knew what he had done wrong. Actually, I can bet money that he didn't do anything wrong and that the young girl was listening to every single lie in the book that the enemy was throwing in her direction. Did you know that once you become vulnerable and listen to one little lie from the enemy that he takes advantage of that and opens up door after door after door? He knows what he's doing. I just wanted to shake her and hit myself all at the same time because 1. I knew what was going on in her mind and I wanted to hold her and not let her go and 2. I knew that I had done the same thing in the past and this was God really teaching me, convicting me, and embracing me. It's time we all learn how to treat our men with respect.
I sat there and my heart instantly broke. I knew exactly what was going on in this young girl's mind and I didn't even know her name. She was insecure. She was probably thinking that because her husband wasn't right by her side that he didn't love her. She was probably thinking that because he didn't want to dance with her that she wasn't good enough to be seen with. I could take up this entire blog with thoughts that I can guarantee were going through her mind. She was insecure. And there was nothing her husband could do to fix that for her. She wanted her way and she didn't get it, so what did she do? She said there and proclaimed that nothing was wrong and pouted. I sat there and just wanted to shake her and tell her to stop listening to those lies. I wanted to hug the husband because he was trying so hard to make her happy even though he had done nothing wrong to begin with. Ladies, men are not stupid. When we say "nothing", they know it's "something". Again, they are not stupid. We have minds that are like wires. Absolutely everything is connected to something else within our mind. Men have minds like boxes. Absolutely nothing connects and they actually do have a 'nothing' box. Men know this. If you say that nothing is wrong, they will work their hardest to try to provide a solution for your unhappiness because whether you say it or not, they know something's wrong. And ladies, there is no reason that these men need to work so hard to get an answer out of us. Can't we just pray for humility and love our men the way that God intended us to? Can't we just pray and send the enemy and his lies to Christ's feet? We need to start.
Ladies, it's time to stop taking away the masculinity of men. Men received the curse of Adam. In the very beginning of our story, they received a curse.
Genesis 3:17-19 --
“Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat food from it
all the days of your life.
It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
and you will eat the plants of the field.
By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return.”
Men were cursed with the need to provide. They work and they work and they work. Why? Because that's the way they were cursed. They are all built with the need to provide in their heart. They want to provide for us. Can we let them?! Do not bottle up your emotions and hide your heart from them. That hurts them, deep. I've experienced it first hand from my own actions. It hurts them deep in just the way that observing the young girl's actions at the wedding hurt my heart deep. Seeing the way that you have behaved in the past right in front of your face is a conviction that will hit you hard. Ladies, we have to stop. When we say that nothing is wrong - they know that something is wrong. Do not take away the blessing of their provision. They desire to provide and help you walk with Christ. They desire to love you the way that Christ loves the church. They want to protect you and care for you. Let them.
Us as women were also cursed thanks to Eve. Genesis 3:16 -- "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you". Ladies, thanks to Eve this is our curse. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change it. Do you ever wonder why we so desperately seek our husbands love and attention? It's because of Eve. Understand this! We need to stop expecting our husbands, boyfriends, fiances, our men to fulfill all of our needs. Only the Lord can fulfill everything our heart desires. We need to stop placing expectations on the men in our lives. We are breaking them. The more we place expectations on them.. the more we become disappointed.. and this all makes our men feel more inadequate which hurts them deep because it's part of their curse to provide for us! When they feel they can't provide, i.e. meet the expectations we place on them because our desire is so great for their attention, they feel even more broken than they felt to begin with and they will try desperately to fix the issue when the issue probably isn't even about them, nor is it even an issue they can fix.
Ladies, stop taking away the masculinity of our men. We need to yes, submit. This doesn't mean become weak, let them walk all over you, stop following your own dreams and desires. This means, love them the way that we are supposed to love them. We need to support them, encourage them, and let them provide. And when they mess up? Do not break them down even more! I can guarantee that they are trying as hard as they can. Especially, Christian men who love the Lord with their whole heart. They are trying. Let them try! Us as women do this thing -- if a man doesn't respond the way we want them to we get upset. Then, we may talk about it with them and they may listen. The next time we see them -- they are actually doing what we asked to begin with, but now we find something wrong with this. For example, a few weeks ago I was angry because I felt shunned and I felt like I was treated with a huge amount of disrespect from the man that I love. Therefore, I talked to him about it and he expressed to me that it wouldn't happen again, that he was sorry, and that he didn't even realize he was doing it. The next week he was very friendly towards me, asking me what I was doing after church, asking me where I was eating, etc. I left the church angry at him, yet again, and this time it was because he was talking to me and trying to figure out what I was doing when we were on a break. I felt like it wasn't any of his business. What was I thinking?! I had just sat down and expressed to him that I wanted him to be friendly towards me and when he took the initiative and listened, I shunned him! Ladies, we have to stop doing this to our men.
After that wedding and watching the young couple with their pouting, laughs, and insecurities my heart fully broke for our men. Ladies, let's try to love them the way that God intended us to love them and stop taking away their masculinity. Today, I was told by a young believer that I work with, (who I had been talking about Jesus with for the past several weeks) that my faith and my strength inspired her. I have been on a break with my relationship for the past month now and have done nothing but dive into my community, dive into God, dive into my heart, and dive into positive thinking. Apparently, this young girl took notice and found it so encouraging. She explained that she was so inspired because she had not heard one negative word out of my mouth about the man that I'm apart from right now. She said that generally when something happens in a relationship, such as a break, that people aren't normally positive and strong. She said that I was and that she was encouraged because I had only spoken positive things about what I've learned, about the break itself, and about the man that has my heart. That struck my heart and made me tear up a little bit. It was encouraging that I was positive about the man in my life.
Ladies, we need to allow our men to provide, to pray for us, to give us their input and advice. Actually, we should ask for their input and advice -- they desire to give it! We need to try to enjoy what they enjoy - meaning, if they like football.. learn about it! Don't you expect them to at least attempt to enjoy what you enjoy? Like, I don't know -- romantic comedies and shopping? It's what God calls sacrificial love and our men need it just as much as we need it. It means so much to their hearts and it brings glory to God. Allow our men to be masculine. Don't pick out their flaws in front of their friends. Don't question their finances, bills, and debts. Don't be a backseat driver and allow them to drive whether they really know where they're going or not. We want to feel loved, correct? Then, let our men do what God intended our men to do. Provide. Care. Support. Be masculine. That's how they love us! Let them and send them love right back! And ladies, if you still don't feel loved or fulfilled and you find yourself continually seeking and searching -- then you're searching and seeking in the wrong area! Seek God first. Then, through that he will bless you with a man that wants to love you the way that God intended love to be.
We live in a spiritual world that is full of spiritual warfare. Ephesians 6:12 -- For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ladies, let us redirect our actions towards the right victim, not our men. We are not damsels in distress that need saved. Christ has already saved us if we've taken Him into our hearts and allowed Him to be a part of our life -- our whole life. Men cannot rescue us. Stop expecting them to. We need to be strong, faithful, supportive, WOMEN OF CHRIST.
We are Christ's beloved daughters.
Let's start behaving that way. Let's start loving our men.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Become ingrafted.
A few blogs ago, I had written about the process of ingrafting. I had written about the process of becoming new in Christ. I had referenced 2 Corinthians 5:17: Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come! I remember explaining what exactly it means to be 'ingrafted'. The dictionary definition of 'graft' is this, In surgery, a portion of living tissue is surgically transplanted from one part of an individual to another, or from one individual to another, for its adhesion and growth. Sounds a little painful doesn't it?
We as humans need Christ. We need a savior. We're all broken, bruised, and bloodied and the thought of allowing someone else to control our lives sounds impossible for us. We like to do things our own way in our own time. When we decide to dedicate our lives to Christ, we become a new creation. We become ingrafted in Christ. Now, ingrafting doesn't sound like a pleasant thing when you fully dive into the word. And you know what? It's not. Ingrafting from the surgical standpoint I'd assume would not be a pleasant process. It's living tissue that is being transplanted from one area to a whole new area to grow. It's going to cause the most beautiful human to look like Frankenstein --- in the beginning. Ingrafting from the spiritual standpoint, is also not a pleasant process. Yes, it's a beautiful process when you can see the changes that God is making in your heart. The only reason I'd say that it isn't pleasant is because it hurts. It doesn't hurt in the physical sense like a surgery would, but it hurts in the heart.
Jeremiah 17:9-10
"The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful,
a puzzle that no one can figure out.
But I, God, search the heart
and examine the mind.
I get to the heart of the human.
I get to the root of things.
I treat them as they really are,
not as they pretend to be."
Our hearts are deceitful. They are full of pride, arrogance, insecurities, fear, worry, doubt, hate, anger, bitterness.. the list continues on. When we allow God to get in there and dig deep, you're going to feel those awful areas begin to quiver and shake. They are going to want to hold on for dear life, but you must allow God to take control of them. You must allow Him to come beside you and push the boulder out of our path to freedom. Regardless of what convictions He may place on your heart, you must trust Him. You must let Him begin the ingrafting process. Convictions are painful. They are not easy pills to swallow. Yet, they are from God. God convicts his children just as your own father would convict you. Conviction defined means, to impress with a sense of guilt or to declare guilty of an offense. These offenses that we are convicted of are those exact things that our deceitful hearts can be full of. They are things that God wants us to give to Him, so that He may help us become as Christ-like as possible. He wants us to give them to Him, so that we can become free and become new in Christ. When convictions come our way, we shouldn't feel bad about ourselves. God doesn't show us conviction to make us hate ourselves. He shows us conviction because He loves us and wants to help us become better for Him. We need to take his discipline, understand it, and turn it around. With God we can do that. That's the whole point of the test He's trying to get us to sit down and take. He wants us to glorify Him. How are we to do that with hearts full of madness?
I've constantly battled fear. In the past couple weeks, fear is starting to fade from my heart. A month ago, if you were to ask me where I saw myself in 5 years I probably would have been able to answer you. I would have said something like, "Oh you know, in the same city I'm in now, hopefully married, teaching Elementary students at a public school..." Now, if you were to ask me that same question I wouldn't be able to answer you. God has drastically helped me with my battle of fear. I no longer have a desire to stay put. When I was back in high school through the beginning stages of college, I wanted the traditional white picket fence, fully decorated home, huge backyard with the kids playing in it, friends in every direction lifestyle. I can't even fathom that anymore. I'm ready to go wherever God wants me to go and if that means moving to a different area code every week, month, or year then you best believe I'll be doing it. And, the only way I got to that point was because I finally began dedicating my life to Christ. I've finally given the fear in my heart to Him and have let Him begin the ingrafting process. The process of becoming a new creation.
I think we all need to learn humility and give everything to Christ. Oh, you better believe I am in no way a pro at this. But, that's okay because God approves of me either way. He can help me overcome my unbelief no matter how prideful I am. He will heal me of that if I continue to pursue Him and He will do the same for you. Remember, it's a process and it's all about God's time. I was reading yesterday afternoon (Beth Moore - Get Out of That Pit) and I really enjoyed what she said about God's timing -- "I think God often ordains a wait because He purely enjoys the togetherness of it". Remember me explaining that we were created for a relationship with God? How awesome does that make you feel that He wants to spend time with you that much? Our God wants to spend time with us. Believe it.
I've always had this desire to travel everywhere, to build homes for people, to volunteer at soup kitchens, and to meet people all over the place because their stories just interested me -- yet I never knew what exactly I should be to do that. I thought I needed a career to make all of that happen. God has finally pulled out my little girl and showed me that I can do all of that -- for Him. All of those things can glorify Him. Sharing the Gospel and loving people, I can do. The only thing that would have ever stopped me from that is fear. He's casting out fear from my heart. I think we all need to embrace the little kids inside of us and let God really pull them out, along with all those deceitful things within our hearts. Those little kid desires, hopes, and dreams may not be as ridiculous as you think they are. They may not be in the exact way that you'd have thought you'd be pursuing them, but they will be in a better way -- with God. We are called to have a childlike faith, right? Let's start by being obedient to our call regardless of how scared you may initially be of it.
Let Him start that process for you today.
You may spend many nights crying or angry. You may want to give up when it gets hard. You may want to be prideful and long to do it yourself. You may question everything that He's doing and throw a fit. Trust me, I understand. I've felt all of that on this journey. But, humility is our friend and Christ is our lover.
Let Him love you. Let Him heal you.
Let Him heal your heart from madness.
Let's be little kids again.
We as humans need Christ. We need a savior. We're all broken, bruised, and bloodied and the thought of allowing someone else to control our lives sounds impossible for us. We like to do things our own way in our own time. When we decide to dedicate our lives to Christ, we become a new creation. We become ingrafted in Christ. Now, ingrafting doesn't sound like a pleasant thing when you fully dive into the word. And you know what? It's not. Ingrafting from the surgical standpoint I'd assume would not be a pleasant process. It's living tissue that is being transplanted from one area to a whole new area to grow. It's going to cause the most beautiful human to look like Frankenstein --- in the beginning. Ingrafting from the spiritual standpoint, is also not a pleasant process. Yes, it's a beautiful process when you can see the changes that God is making in your heart. The only reason I'd say that it isn't pleasant is because it hurts. It doesn't hurt in the physical sense like a surgery would, but it hurts in the heart.
Jeremiah 17:9-10
"The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful,
a puzzle that no one can figure out.
But I, God, search the heart
and examine the mind.
I get to the heart of the human.
I get to the root of things.
I treat them as they really are,
not as they pretend to be."
Our hearts are deceitful. They are full of pride, arrogance, insecurities, fear, worry, doubt, hate, anger, bitterness.. the list continues on. When we allow God to get in there and dig deep, you're going to feel those awful areas begin to quiver and shake. They are going to want to hold on for dear life, but you must allow God to take control of them. You must allow Him to come beside you and push the boulder out of our path to freedom. Regardless of what convictions He may place on your heart, you must trust Him. You must let Him begin the ingrafting process. Convictions are painful. They are not easy pills to swallow. Yet, they are from God. God convicts his children just as your own father would convict you. Conviction defined means, to impress with a sense of guilt or to declare guilty of an offense. These offenses that we are convicted of are those exact things that our deceitful hearts can be full of. They are things that God wants us to give to Him, so that He may help us become as Christ-like as possible. He wants us to give them to Him, so that we can become free and become new in Christ. When convictions come our way, we shouldn't feel bad about ourselves. God doesn't show us conviction to make us hate ourselves. He shows us conviction because He loves us and wants to help us become better for Him. We need to take his discipline, understand it, and turn it around. With God we can do that. That's the whole point of the test He's trying to get us to sit down and take. He wants us to glorify Him. How are we to do that with hearts full of madness?
I've constantly battled fear. In the past couple weeks, fear is starting to fade from my heart. A month ago, if you were to ask me where I saw myself in 5 years I probably would have been able to answer you. I would have said something like, "Oh you know, in the same city I'm in now, hopefully married, teaching Elementary students at a public school..." Now, if you were to ask me that same question I wouldn't be able to answer you. God has drastically helped me with my battle of fear. I no longer have a desire to stay put. When I was back in high school through the beginning stages of college, I wanted the traditional white picket fence, fully decorated home, huge backyard with the kids playing in it, friends in every direction lifestyle. I can't even fathom that anymore. I'm ready to go wherever God wants me to go and if that means moving to a different area code every week, month, or year then you best believe I'll be doing it. And, the only way I got to that point was because I finally began dedicating my life to Christ. I've finally given the fear in my heart to Him and have let Him begin the ingrafting process. The process of becoming a new creation.
I think we all need to learn humility and give everything to Christ. Oh, you better believe I am in no way a pro at this. But, that's okay because God approves of me either way. He can help me overcome my unbelief no matter how prideful I am. He will heal me of that if I continue to pursue Him and He will do the same for you. Remember, it's a process and it's all about God's time. I was reading yesterday afternoon (Beth Moore - Get Out of That Pit) and I really enjoyed what she said about God's timing -- "I think God often ordains a wait because He purely enjoys the togetherness of it". Remember me explaining that we were created for a relationship with God? How awesome does that make you feel that He wants to spend time with you that much? Our God wants to spend time with us. Believe it.
I've always had this desire to travel everywhere, to build homes for people, to volunteer at soup kitchens, and to meet people all over the place because their stories just interested me -- yet I never knew what exactly I should be to do that. I thought I needed a career to make all of that happen. God has finally pulled out my little girl and showed me that I can do all of that -- for Him. All of those things can glorify Him. Sharing the Gospel and loving people, I can do. The only thing that would have ever stopped me from that is fear. He's casting out fear from my heart. I think we all need to embrace the little kids inside of us and let God really pull them out, along with all those deceitful things within our hearts. Those little kid desires, hopes, and dreams may not be as ridiculous as you think they are. They may not be in the exact way that you'd have thought you'd be pursuing them, but they will be in a better way -- with God. We are called to have a childlike faith, right? Let's start by being obedient to our call regardless of how scared you may initially be of it.
Let Him start that process for you today.
You may spend many nights crying or angry. You may want to give up when it gets hard. You may want to be prideful and long to do it yourself. You may question everything that He's doing and throw a fit. Trust me, I understand. I've felt all of that on this journey. But, humility is our friend and Christ is our lover.
Let Him love you. Let Him heal you.
Let Him heal your heart from madness.
Let's be little kids again.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Expectations.
I highly recommend that if you're struggling with anything in life to take a break. Whether it's a relationship, a job, a habit, or whatever the case may be - I recommend taking a break if you feel like you've hit a wall. I recommend you take a break and spend time with God, not just some time - a lot of time. He will teach you so many things if you just allow yourself the time and commitment that he desires from us.
If I wouldn't be taking a break with things in my life right now, I probably wouldn't have started initiating with people the way that I am now (not that I chose the break I'm in, but God wanted me and He got me. I also had a loving man in my life who God blessed me with who helped God take my heart). I had lost myself. I had become quiet, reserved, angry, and selfish. I wasn't myself in any way, shape, or form. God is helping me find myself again. He is helping me find my identity with Him again. With this in my mind now, I'm initiating with people who I've been too scared or too judgmental to have initiated with before. And I can't even express how clearly God is working. If none of this had happened, I would not have had an ice cream date yesterday with a wonderful woman. Through her, she introduced me to Mike and Tammy Smith (introduced me to them by showing me some relationship sermons that they had done last August). Through listening to those sermons (even just the first two - it's a series of four), my outlook on things has drastically changed. God is so faithful.
Expectations. Who can honestly say that they don't have expectations? We have expectations of everything. The biggest of which seems to be people. We have expectations of people. We especially have expectations of people we're in relationships with. After listening to one of the sermons strictly on expectations, my mind is blown. Tammy said something that has been officially imprinted on my heart - "We are missing the beautiful uniqueness of the people in front of us so often because of our pictures of what he or she should be doing". People are beautiful. Yet, they continually disappoint us... or so we think. People do not disappoint, expectations do. No one can make you feel angry, it's the expectations that you hold over them that disappoint you and generate the feeling of anger towards that person. In relationships we hold some of the most irrational, questionable, ridiculous expectations over our partners heads. We make them feel trapped with these expectations because it's a continual cycle of them trying to live up to our expectations and then us shutting them down because they didn't quite meet the exact expectations we had to begin with. It's a constant state of disappointment and failure. This is awful. We as children of Christ are free. We are free with Christ. Why do we constantly trap each other?
Tammy listed a whole list of expectations that we hold in relationships. That our partner is sinless. That they will do what we want. That they will change nasty habits. That they will like our family. That they will automatically enjoy our hobbies. That they would want to spend as much time with us as we want to with them. That they would be able to read our mind. That they would like everything about us. And finally, that he or she will change. How do you feel now? I'm guilty of every single one of these expectations. Can't you see how irrational they are? We are self-centered, selfish individuals without Christ. Tammy made the comment that we expect our partners to want to do things we enjoy and then when they do them out of love for us that it's still not enough because they didn't really mean it, they just did it. That is what it means to sacrificially love. We all need to be this way!
We as Christians have a challenge. When we are in a relationship it is not about us. It's not about our values. Expectations set others up for failure and set us up for disappointment. We are told in Colossians 3:2 to "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things". "Expectations are earthly things. It's a mindset focused on this earth". As Christians, we are to have no expectations. That is what Christ wants for us. Again, He tells us to not set our minds on earthly things. God is teaching me all about selfishness. I am selfish. But, guess what - He is healing.
I just pray that we can all begin to understand that expectations are not Christ like. They are not for each other. We cannot have them. They generate feelings of want and desire from human beings that they can never fulfill. We need to gain our satisfaction from God. He will now, forever, and always meet our expectations. It is so unfair to place expectations on people we love. It's a recipe for disaster that will always end up in one person feeling inadequate and the other person feeling unfulfilled. God will always fill us!
Isaiah 55:1-3
“Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live.
My prayer is that we can realize this truth and embrace it. We must not have expectations. We must love sacrificially, serve each other, and let God do all the work. We must trust Him and gain our fill from Him. If you're placing expectations on someone you love, stop. We must love one another the way that he intended love to be and love is not self-seeking.
God is teaching me so many things right now and I'm so thankful. He is faithful and He will heal your heart if you allow Him to do it.
Allow Him.
Let Him be the Father that he will forever be.
If I wouldn't be taking a break with things in my life right now, I probably wouldn't have started initiating with people the way that I am now (not that I chose the break I'm in, but God wanted me and He got me. I also had a loving man in my life who God blessed me with who helped God take my heart). I had lost myself. I had become quiet, reserved, angry, and selfish. I wasn't myself in any way, shape, or form. God is helping me find myself again. He is helping me find my identity with Him again. With this in my mind now, I'm initiating with people who I've been too scared or too judgmental to have initiated with before. And I can't even express how clearly God is working. If none of this had happened, I would not have had an ice cream date yesterday with a wonderful woman. Through her, she introduced me to Mike and Tammy Smith (introduced me to them by showing me some relationship sermons that they had done last August). Through listening to those sermons (even just the first two - it's a series of four), my outlook on things has drastically changed. God is so faithful.
Expectations. Who can honestly say that they don't have expectations? We have expectations of everything. The biggest of which seems to be people. We have expectations of people. We especially have expectations of people we're in relationships with. After listening to one of the sermons strictly on expectations, my mind is blown. Tammy said something that has been officially imprinted on my heart - "We are missing the beautiful uniqueness of the people in front of us so often because of our pictures of what he or she should be doing". People are beautiful. Yet, they continually disappoint us... or so we think. People do not disappoint, expectations do. No one can make you feel angry, it's the expectations that you hold over them that disappoint you and generate the feeling of anger towards that person. In relationships we hold some of the most irrational, questionable, ridiculous expectations over our partners heads. We make them feel trapped with these expectations because it's a continual cycle of them trying to live up to our expectations and then us shutting them down because they didn't quite meet the exact expectations we had to begin with. It's a constant state of disappointment and failure. This is awful. We as children of Christ are free. We are free with Christ. Why do we constantly trap each other?
Tammy listed a whole list of expectations that we hold in relationships. That our partner is sinless. That they will do what we want. That they will change nasty habits. That they will like our family. That they will automatically enjoy our hobbies. That they would want to spend as much time with us as we want to with them. That they would be able to read our mind. That they would like everything about us. And finally, that he or she will change. How do you feel now? I'm guilty of every single one of these expectations. Can't you see how irrational they are? We are self-centered, selfish individuals without Christ. Tammy made the comment that we expect our partners to want to do things we enjoy and then when they do them out of love for us that it's still not enough because they didn't really mean it, they just did it. That is what it means to sacrificially love. We all need to be this way!
We as Christians have a challenge. When we are in a relationship it is not about us. It's not about our values. Expectations set others up for failure and set us up for disappointment. We are told in Colossians 3:2 to "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things". "Expectations are earthly things. It's a mindset focused on this earth". As Christians, we are to have no expectations. That is what Christ wants for us. Again, He tells us to not set our minds on earthly things. God is teaching me all about selfishness. I am selfish. But, guess what - He is healing.
I just pray that we can all begin to understand that expectations are not Christ like. They are not for each other. We cannot have them. They generate feelings of want and desire from human beings that they can never fulfill. We need to gain our satisfaction from God. He will now, forever, and always meet our expectations. It is so unfair to place expectations on people we love. It's a recipe for disaster that will always end up in one person feeling inadequate and the other person feeling unfulfilled. God will always fill us!
Isaiah 55:1-3
“Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
God is teaching me so many things right now and I'm so thankful. He is faithful and He will heal your heart if you allow Him to do it.
Allow Him.
Let Him be the Father that he will forever be.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Just go.
If I were to rewind my life to last summer, I would never have thought that God would be leading me in the direction that he is right now. Today, as I was praying I couldn't help but cry. I was overwhelmed with joy. I was overwhelmed with passion. And I was overwhelmed with confidence. The holy spirit is working in my heart and telling me several different things. The two regarding my direction with ministry are the two I'm about to discuss. I have never felt more led to do what I'm feeling led to do right now. And after constant worry, fear, frustration, and anxiety over it - I'm finally at peace. And with that peace, I have never been more passionate and joyful in my heart as I am right now.
Teenagers. Who honestly enjoys the raging hormones, the fits of anger, the tears of broken hearts and confused relationships, and the stubbornness that some teenagers will throw your way? For some reason, God wants that to be my ministry. It has never been more clear to me that that is where I need to be. The amount of joy that is brought to my heart dealing with several young kids and seeing their growth is out of this world. The fact that I can sit with them and talk about Jesus and love them is so incredible. That is my passion. I remember being in high school and going to Young Life. The female leaders were so wise, caring, and compassionate and I could do nothing less than admire them. They are my constant inspiration. I'm ready for God to use me however he wants to use me with these kids. I'm willing and I'm ready to go. This passion really became clear to me when I was in India. I had so many teenagers come up to me in particular. They wanted me to pray for them. They wanted me to talk to them. Me. I was on a team with two other people, yet the majority of the people that reacted to them were older. Anytime my discernment would kick in, it always seemed to be towards a teenager. I could always pick out who I needed to talk to. And they all seemed to be teenagers. Most of my contacts were teenagers. God brought them to me. I'm ready God, throw the hormones my direction.
India. If you were to tell me even two months ago that my heart would be running for India, I would have instantly said that you were crazy and there was absolutely no way. Period, end of story. You're out of your mind. Well, God obviously had a different plan for me and was going to throw me into it whether I liked it or not. Every single day, my heart feels for the people in India. My thoughts remember the faces of the people of India. My passion sits with the young females over in India. For their freedom, their hope, their life that only God can give.
We are called to be ambassadors for Christ -- 2 Corinthians 5:20 "We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us". We are to tell everyone about Christ. I can tell you right now that I would not look forward to 110 degree dry heat with air conditioners that constantly need water put in them, with water I'm not able to drink, and bathrooms I have to squat above to use. But, God can't use us to our full potential if we're comfortable. Where in scripture does it ever say that we will be comfortable, that we will have lavish things, that we will get to do what we want? It's not about us. It's about Christ. We have to be willing. I'm finally at peace with that.
A wise woman said something to me in a message one day that sticks close to my heart. She said, "None of us should be that comfortable in America, because it's not our home either. American Christians have to work harder at following Christ. They have it so easy that they've left God unemployed. They don't have to live by faith really,and I don't think people really are living by faith unless they are sharing the Gospel and being totally available to Him IN America or anywhere else". Convicting? Yeah, I thought so. I felt convicted to. This is not our home. We are foreigners in America just as much as we are in India or Ukraine. We can't leave God unemployed. We have to obey the call that He has sent our way. If you asked me, "How do you know that's where God wants you?" I wouldn't be able to answer you. I'm just being obedient and following Christ where my heart is leading me. The Holy Spirit finds a home in our hearts. And when that Holy Spirit moves in our hearts, you can't deny it. It's an overwhelming passion, joy, and tug. And if we don't listen to it, we are being disobedient.
Wherever God wants us he will bring us to it and through it. Yes, I feel called to be in India. Yes, I feel called to be in ministry with teenagers. No, this doesn't mean I pick up and move to India immediately and only work with teenagers. That would just be unwise. But, that's not saying that if I felt called to be there tomorrow that I wouldn't go. I would go. If it's in God's plan for me to be there, I will be obedient. The point is that we have to be willing. Wherever God has us is where He wants us for the moment. So, if we're in an ordinary city with ordinary people, it is still not our home. We still need to be obedient. We need to follow the call wherever God has us right now. And we need to be willing. I struggled with this thought for awhile. I wasn't ready to give up my comfortable life. I wasn't sure where God wanted me to go. It was like I was expecting Him to come down and tell me every single detail about His plan for me. We just have to be ready to pick up and go if God wants it. No matter what, we just have to be willing. It's such a simple concept. But, we let fear take over.
We can't let fear take over. We must be willing. We can't constantly question everything that God wants for us. This is something He has definitely been convicting me with lately. I question everything. It's fine time I learned though that that defeats the purpose of trusting Him completely. That defeats the purpose of relying on Him. If I'm questioning what He is doing with me, that's questioning His power. And our God is all knowing, all seeing, and all powerful. That disobedience and those question don't help growth at all. We can't grow unless we are uncomfortable. We can't grow unless we are weak. We can't grow unless we are broken. We just have to be willing to be uncomfortable, weak, and broken.
I can't even imagine my life without telling people about Christ anymore. I have to tell people. I have to go. I'm ready to give my heart, soul, and body for the sake of the Gospel.
Let's be those ambassadors.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Journey.
Every single person on this Earth longs for one thing -- love. We all fight so hard for this desire. Yet, it is freely given to us by Christ. Why do we fight to gain this thing we call love? Why do we search so hard? It's because we rely to find it solely from human beings. We search in all the wrong places for this love. We follow our own desires for this love. I'm here to tell you that this is just not how it was intended to be. I spent two weeks preaching the Gospel in India and somehow I managed to forget the truth that I spoke. God created us because He desired a relationship. Sure, He created the animals. But, when was the last time that you spoke to an animal and they answered back? Unless you start describing the horse named Mr. Ed from TV Land, you can only say that this has never has happened. They don't have conversations with you. So, what did God do? He created us. He created humans. He created creatures that hold the same characteristics that He does. He was an artist with the ability to create us. We are "fearfully and wonderfully made". And that relationship that He desired and created us for then, still exists to this very day. His love is unchanging. That desire from God has not changed.
In order for us to understand anything in this world we have to constantly speak with our Father. He knows the desires of our heart. He knows our story because He wrote it. The only way that we'll ever feel secure and content in this world is if we find that completely in Him. Contentment is a learned choice. We need to learn as humans that contentment does not come from our own desires being met. We cannot have real joy if we continually base it on our circumstances. Sure, we can get what we want and feel 'joy' for a short period. But, the second something doesn't go our way we feel angry again. It's instant. God is the only way that we can find that true joy. The Word says that "the eyes of man is never satisfied." So, why do we constantly try to meet that satisfaction without Christ? It makes no sense. We are so blinded by what the enemy is telling us. He is a liar. It's as simple as that. There is absolutely nothing Satan can say that is true. He's incapable of telling the truth. The lies of not being wanted, of not being accepted, of not being fought for, of not being good enough, of not being loved - are all lies. They are all things that we need Christ for. Humans will fail. Humans are not perfect. Humans will upset you. Humans cannot give you what only Christ can.
It's time we stop having expectations of people. It's time we stop letting the insecurities and the lies control our lives. Why let something that only wants to destroy us [the enemy] control us when we can instead let something that only wants to love us [Christ] help us? We need Christ's help. We need Christ's guidance. We need Christ's love. We need Christ's grace. We need Christ - all of Him, every single second of every single day. And He freely offers it, every single second of every single day. We can't do anything without Him. It makes no sense for us to continue to let the things of our past, the things that have hurt us the most, control our present when we know the truth. We were created for a relationship with Christ. We need to be content with our circumstances. We need to find true contentment and security with Christ before anything else. Once we accept that, we can be free. It's time to break chains and let the lies go. We can do this with Christ. Stop letting your emotions, your fears, and your insecurities tell you otherwise. [God desires that we take authority over our bad habits. He doesn't want us to be "bossed around" by our emotions, He wants us to have victory. - Joyce Meyer]. With Christ, we will always be victorious. We need to soak in that truth. Yes, we as humans will fail and are incapable of defeating the enemy. But, we have a God who is willing to fight by our side and who we know holds the victory, every single time.
Stop letting the enemy control. Stop searching for anything but Christ. I want to be a mom someday. And let me tell you, I will make a phenomenal mom. But, if I have a little girl who doesn't see her worth because too many boys have broken her heart and I'm not secure enough in Christ to help her understand that she's worth it.. my heart will be broken. It's time we as humans realize that Christ is all we need. We can be secure in Him and He will never let us down. Again, humans will fail you. But, Christ created all of us to love Him and be secure in Him so that we can love each other. We can't love each other without giving everything to Christ. We can't love each other when we hold expectations of being great and finding joy always in another human being. We were not created for that. We need to start living in that truth. We need to start being content with where God has us, soaking in his security. We need to start having faith that He can help us with everything. We need to start having faith that He WILL help us with everything if we just let Him.
Let Him.
"Let your character or moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] has said, I will not in any way fail you, nor give you up, nor leave you without support. [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless, nor forsake, nor let [you] down."
Hebrews 13:5 [AMP] --
In order for us to understand anything in this world we have to constantly speak with our Father. He knows the desires of our heart. He knows our story because He wrote it. The only way that we'll ever feel secure and content in this world is if we find that completely in Him. Contentment is a learned choice. We need to learn as humans that contentment does not come from our own desires being met. We cannot have real joy if we continually base it on our circumstances. Sure, we can get what we want and feel 'joy' for a short period. But, the second something doesn't go our way we feel angry again. It's instant. God is the only way that we can find that true joy. The Word says that "the eyes of man is never satisfied." So, why do we constantly try to meet that satisfaction without Christ? It makes no sense. We are so blinded by what the enemy is telling us. He is a liar. It's as simple as that. There is absolutely nothing Satan can say that is true. He's incapable of telling the truth. The lies of not being wanted, of not being accepted, of not being fought for, of not being good enough, of not being loved - are all lies. They are all things that we need Christ for. Humans will fail. Humans are not perfect. Humans will upset you. Humans cannot give you what only Christ can.
It's time we stop having expectations of people. It's time we stop letting the insecurities and the lies control our lives. Why let something that only wants to destroy us [the enemy] control us when we can instead let something that only wants to love us [Christ] help us? We need Christ's help. We need Christ's guidance. We need Christ's love. We need Christ's grace. We need Christ - all of Him, every single second of every single day. And He freely offers it, every single second of every single day. We can't do anything without Him. It makes no sense for us to continue to let the things of our past, the things that have hurt us the most, control our present when we know the truth. We were created for a relationship with Christ. We need to be content with our circumstances. We need to find true contentment and security with Christ before anything else. Once we accept that, we can be free. It's time to break chains and let the lies go. We can do this with Christ. Stop letting your emotions, your fears, and your insecurities tell you otherwise. [God desires that we take authority over our bad habits. He doesn't want us to be "bossed around" by our emotions, He wants us to have victory. - Joyce Meyer]. With Christ, we will always be victorious. We need to soak in that truth. Yes, we as humans will fail and are incapable of defeating the enemy. But, we have a God who is willing to fight by our side and who we know holds the victory, every single time.
Stop letting the enemy control. Stop searching for anything but Christ. I want to be a mom someday. And let me tell you, I will make a phenomenal mom. But, if I have a little girl who doesn't see her worth because too many boys have broken her heart and I'm not secure enough in Christ to help her understand that she's worth it.. my heart will be broken. It's time we as humans realize that Christ is all we need. We can be secure in Him and He will never let us down. Again, humans will fail you. But, Christ created all of us to love Him and be secure in Him so that we can love each other. We can't love each other without giving everything to Christ. We can't love each other when we hold expectations of being great and finding joy always in another human being. We were not created for that. We need to start living in that truth. We need to start being content with where God has us, soaking in his security. We need to start having faith that He can help us with everything. We need to start having faith that He WILL help us with everything if we just let Him.
Let Him.
"Let your character or moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] has said, I will not in any way fail you, nor give you up, nor leave you without support. [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless, nor forsake, nor let [you] down."
Hebrews 13:5 [AMP] --
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)