There have been two things on my heart lately -- broken people and positive thinking. They seem to be two completely different things, right? Wrong. They are both things that come from God. They are both things that can glorify God. And I personally think that's pretty great.
We all have hard days, weeks, months, and years. Honestly, I wouldn't classify this past year of mine as being something that was easy in any means. Since when were we promised that a Christian life was going to be easy? If everything in life went smoothly, the way we wanted, and in perfect rhythm to the beat that we enjoyed -- when would we ever need to rely on God? We wouldn't.
This past year I went through many downs as opposed to the ups. Let's start off with saying how I fell for boy after boy in the very beginning continuing to get my heart ripped apart and then I somehow ended up with someone who was just as broken (if not more), just as prideful (if not more), and who challenged me to a point I never thought possible. Let's continue by talking about the fact that my only brother, my only sibling, left for the Army and now lives a 17 hour road trip away from me. Or how about the fact that my best friend, since I was five years old, and I have had way too many trials and tribulations that one year should ever be allowed to take? Or the fact that my car finally decided to take a turn for the worse and force me to purchase a new car (that caused a huge trial on its own) and then to have that new car hit by someone who didn't even leave a note -- just a huge dent in my driver's side door that I have no money to fix it with? Or how about the fact that I deleted from my life (via Facebook) every single one of my friends from high school who I had spent the entirety of my high school years with -- best friends of mine for years who I had come to realize had actually caused way too many wounds in my heart to even begin counting? Imagine taking on that truth in your heart and let that sink in. Also, God had placed me in a relationship throughout this entire time of my life with a man that was opposite of me in so many ways that caused my issues and insecurities come out full throttle amidst all of these other things in my year. Did you think that was something that was easy? That caused me to sit back and actually deal with my issues, fears, insecurities, and things that I had made peace with in my heart for years. Or how about the huge fact that I stepped out of my comfort zone and took a 15 hour plane ride to another country to tell people about Jesus? This definitely was not easy. That took more courage then I think I've ever had to muster. How about the fact that I've now been in school for such a long amount of time that I am now going to have to eventually pay out of pocket? Do you think that hasn't caused me some stress or frustration at feeling I've wasted time in school not knowing exactly what I wanted to do with my life and am now paying for it? How about the fact that I've had to sit and realize how much of an ugly, broken, angry, mean individual I can be? How about the fact that I had to spend a night in an emergency room waiting for endless hours feeling completely hopeless as the boy that I love rolled around on the floor in pain and I could do nothing to help him, while questioning what was going on in my mind the entire time? Do you know the thoughts that raced through my mind? My list of hard times this past year can continue to be written down, but I think you get my point. None of us, especially as Christians, are going to have easy years. If we did, when would we ever find the time or the desire to spend time with God?
Now, we are all broken people. I don't know how many times I've talked about this, but I know it's been quite a bit. We are all different -- different pasts, different struggles, different insecurities, and all hold different types of bondage. And to top that off we all have different personalities, fears, and needs as well. God created us to be different. We are all so different because we are all a part of the body of Christ. We need each other to glorify God. We need to humble ourselves and deal with our issues, so that we can glorify and love the way that God desires us to. Another thing that I am a firm believer in -- opposite people attracting each other. God places all of us humans together in this world, all so different from each other, and expects us to love each other? I'm not just talking about romantic relationships either. I'm talking romantic, family, and friendships. I have a friend who told me this awhile back and I've continued to think about it day in and day out. She said that "God puts us with someone we have things in common with, but a lot of times our brokenness plays off of each other and forces us to no longer be able to ignore our issues. But, if we aren't careful we can allow Satan a foothold in these issues and push away the plan that the Lord created for us. It takes communication and the capability to be humble in your relationship to work through and recognize our broken areas and allow someone to love on them". When I look at this statement I think of every single relationship that God puts in our life. Yes, it initially is referring to a romantic relationship, but I think it can refer to every relationship we have in our lives. We are all broken and we all need each other. When issues start arising in relationships in your life -- why do you think that is? I'll tell you. 1. Ephesians 6:12 -- For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. We live in a world that is full of spiritual darkness and forces of evil. Evil that does whatever it can so that you allow it to take a foothold in your life and push away anything that may be glorifying to God. We have an enemy. We have an enemy that will do whatever it takes to stop you from becoming strong in the kingdom of God. We need to recognize this. 2. This one goes along with what my friend said awhile back -- when these issues arise, I see God in them. God wants our hearts to be transformed and He will do what it takes for that transformation. We must let Him. When things start to rear their ugly head more than usual, I see that as God wanting our hearts and there not being anything we can do to stop it. We must submit to Him. We must submit to Him our pain, our hurt, our bondage, and our wounds. We must submit to Him, so that our hearts can become transformed and bound up -- healed. Psalm 147:3 -- He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Can't we just let Him and stop seeing the negative in our lives? God is in transformation, in brokenness, and in hard times.
James 1:2-4 -- Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
1 Corinthians 10:13 -- No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you cannot bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
It's right there in scripture. TRUTH. When we view things such as what I mentioned above as negative, half empty type things -- we are missing the point. We need to start looking at the bigger picture. We are all broken because we need each other. 1 Corinthians 12:14-15 -- Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many. Now if the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason stop being part of the body". Again, it's right there in scripture. We need each other. Our brokenness plays off of each other in such a beautiful way. It's glorifying to God. We need to always remember that Satan is at work in this world and that no matter what we do -- especially if we live a Christian life -- it will be hard because we are fighting a spiritual war. We also need to remember that with Christ by our side we will be victorious. Therefore, we will have hard days, weeks, months, and years -- but we will always have Christ to get us through.
We need to start recognizing how beautiful everything is. I can look up at my first paragraph describing everything 'hard' that I went through this year and I can still look at all of it as half full as opposed to empty. If I see God in it -- which He is in all of it -- I see beauty from ashes. Here's some examples -- my brother joined the Army and now he is doing something that he loves, fighting for our freedom, and I now have an opportunity to actually go on a road trip. My new car now has a huge dent in the side of it -- every time I see it I think of driving back to the house I was at and crying into the back of a Clemson shirt because I was so upset and then that boy being there to comfort me and being able to offer me his strength and encouraging words. I also think of India every time that I see that dent now because it happened after a meeting for the trip to India. Going about deleting those old friends from my life has caused me to really start to let God love on me and heal my wounded heart regardless of how hard it may have been. Then, my issues beginning to arise just meant that God was working on my transformation just like He promised He would do. Fights with my best friend -- has made our friendship more stronger than it ever was. And last but not least -- spending that night in the emergency room scared to death over what was going on -- him and I joined together and prayed for a half an hour straight and were fully able to rely on God in a moment of pain and fear and I was able to offer the support that He needed at the time; we were able to be vulnerable with one another.
The glass is always half full if you can see God in it.
Here's something for you -- God is always in it.
We were never told that life as Christians would be easy. Have faith in God -- He doesn't bring us to things that He won't bring us through. Again, if life were easy and people were perfect when would we ever desire to love on broken people and rely on a victorious God?
We wouldn't.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Ladies, this is about the men.
As I've been seeking God with my whole heart, he is really beginning to show me what it means to be a woman. Not only a woman as a bride to our Father, but a woman who understands what she needs to be to a man here on Earth. Ladies, it's time we stop taking away the masculinity of men. The thing that brought this to my full awareness was watching a beautiful young girl at a wedding this past weekend. Watching her and her husband broke my heart.
I'm a people watcher at weddings. I'm not a dancer, but a wallflower. So, I spend a lot of time in observation mode taking around my surroundings. There was a couple, only married for a few years, having a blast during the anniversary dance at the wedding. That fun dance that no one gets to take part in if they aren't married. That dance that continues on until the couple that has been married the longest is on the dance floor alone. It's precious really. But, there was this young couple out there laughing and having such a good time. Everything was fine from the outside perspective. Then, about an hour later the young girl is sitting by another woman, pouting. The woman asked her what was wrong and the young girl responded, "Oh, he's just being stupid. I'm mad at him"... and the list continues. Then, no sooner then she had said that her husband comes back to the table with a beer in his hand after having some laughs with his guy friends. He sits down and turns to his young wife with a smile on his face and she returns the hated pout. He asked her what was wrong and the young girl responded, "Nothing. You just make me mad." Then, she preceded to pout. This young husband sat there trying to coax her into smiling because honestly, I don't think the poor guy even knew what he had done wrong. Actually, I can bet money that he didn't do anything wrong and that the young girl was listening to every single lie in the book that the enemy was throwing in her direction. Did you know that once you become vulnerable and listen to one little lie from the enemy that he takes advantage of that and opens up door after door after door? He knows what he's doing. I just wanted to shake her and hit myself all at the same time because 1. I knew what was going on in her mind and I wanted to hold her and not let her go and 2. I knew that I had done the same thing in the past and this was God really teaching me, convicting me, and embracing me. It's time we all learn how to treat our men with respect.
I sat there and my heart instantly broke. I knew exactly what was going on in this young girl's mind and I didn't even know her name. She was insecure. She was probably thinking that because her husband wasn't right by her side that he didn't love her. She was probably thinking that because he didn't want to dance with her that she wasn't good enough to be seen with. I could take up this entire blog with thoughts that I can guarantee were going through her mind. She was insecure. And there was nothing her husband could do to fix that for her. She wanted her way and she didn't get it, so what did she do? She said there and proclaimed that nothing was wrong and pouted. I sat there and just wanted to shake her and tell her to stop listening to those lies. I wanted to hug the husband because he was trying so hard to make her happy even though he had done nothing wrong to begin with. Ladies, men are not stupid. When we say "nothing", they know it's "something". Again, they are not stupid. We have minds that are like wires. Absolutely everything is connected to something else within our mind. Men have minds like boxes. Absolutely nothing connects and they actually do have a 'nothing' box. Men know this. If you say that nothing is wrong, they will work their hardest to try to provide a solution for your unhappiness because whether you say it or not, they know something's wrong. And ladies, there is no reason that these men need to work so hard to get an answer out of us. Can't we just pray for humility and love our men the way that God intended us to? Can't we just pray and send the enemy and his lies to Christ's feet? We need to start.
Ladies, it's time to stop taking away the masculinity of men. Men received the curse of Adam. In the very beginning of our story, they received a curse.
Genesis 3:17-19 --
“Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat food from it
all the days of your life.
It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
and you will eat the plants of the field.
By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return.”
Men were cursed with the need to provide. They work and they work and they work. Why? Because that's the way they were cursed. They are all built with the need to provide in their heart. They want to provide for us. Can we let them?! Do not bottle up your emotions and hide your heart from them. That hurts them, deep. I've experienced it first hand from my own actions. It hurts them deep in just the way that observing the young girl's actions at the wedding hurt my heart deep. Seeing the way that you have behaved in the past right in front of your face is a conviction that will hit you hard. Ladies, we have to stop. When we say that nothing is wrong - they know that something is wrong. Do not take away the blessing of their provision. They desire to provide and help you walk with Christ. They desire to love you the way that Christ loves the church. They want to protect you and care for you. Let them.
Us as women were also cursed thanks to Eve. Genesis 3:16 -- "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you". Ladies, thanks to Eve this is our curse. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change it. Do you ever wonder why we so desperately seek our husbands love and attention? It's because of Eve. Understand this! We need to stop expecting our husbands, boyfriends, fiances, our men to fulfill all of our needs. Only the Lord can fulfill everything our heart desires. We need to stop placing expectations on the men in our lives. We are breaking them. The more we place expectations on them.. the more we become disappointed.. and this all makes our men feel more inadequate which hurts them deep because it's part of their curse to provide for us! When they feel they can't provide, i.e. meet the expectations we place on them because our desire is so great for their attention, they feel even more broken than they felt to begin with and they will try desperately to fix the issue when the issue probably isn't even about them, nor is it even an issue they can fix.
Ladies, stop taking away the masculinity of our men. We need to yes, submit. This doesn't mean become weak, let them walk all over you, stop following your own dreams and desires. This means, love them the way that we are supposed to love them. We need to support them, encourage them, and let them provide. And when they mess up? Do not break them down even more! I can guarantee that they are trying as hard as they can. Especially, Christian men who love the Lord with their whole heart. They are trying. Let them try! Us as women do this thing -- if a man doesn't respond the way we want them to we get upset. Then, we may talk about it with them and they may listen. The next time we see them -- they are actually doing what we asked to begin with, but now we find something wrong with this. For example, a few weeks ago I was angry because I felt shunned and I felt like I was treated with a huge amount of disrespect from the man that I love. Therefore, I talked to him about it and he expressed to me that it wouldn't happen again, that he was sorry, and that he didn't even realize he was doing it. The next week he was very friendly towards me, asking me what I was doing after church, asking me where I was eating, etc. I left the church angry at him, yet again, and this time it was because he was talking to me and trying to figure out what I was doing when we were on a break. I felt like it wasn't any of his business. What was I thinking?! I had just sat down and expressed to him that I wanted him to be friendly towards me and when he took the initiative and listened, I shunned him! Ladies, we have to stop doing this to our men.
After that wedding and watching the young couple with their pouting, laughs, and insecurities my heart fully broke for our men. Ladies, let's try to love them the way that God intended us to love them and stop taking away their masculinity. Today, I was told by a young believer that I work with, (who I had been talking about Jesus with for the past several weeks) that my faith and my strength inspired her. I have been on a break with my relationship for the past month now and have done nothing but dive into my community, dive into God, dive into my heart, and dive into positive thinking. Apparently, this young girl took notice and found it so encouraging. She explained that she was so inspired because she had not heard one negative word out of my mouth about the man that I'm apart from right now. She said that generally when something happens in a relationship, such as a break, that people aren't normally positive and strong. She said that I was and that she was encouraged because I had only spoken positive things about what I've learned, about the break itself, and about the man that has my heart. That struck my heart and made me tear up a little bit. It was encouraging that I was positive about the man in my life.
Ladies, we need to allow our men to provide, to pray for us, to give us their input and advice. Actually, we should ask for their input and advice -- they desire to give it! We need to try to enjoy what they enjoy - meaning, if they like football.. learn about it! Don't you expect them to at least attempt to enjoy what you enjoy? Like, I don't know -- romantic comedies and shopping? It's what God calls sacrificial love and our men need it just as much as we need it. It means so much to their hearts and it brings glory to God. Allow our men to be masculine. Don't pick out their flaws in front of their friends. Don't question their finances, bills, and debts. Don't be a backseat driver and allow them to drive whether they really know where they're going or not. We want to feel loved, correct? Then, let our men do what God intended our men to do. Provide. Care. Support. Be masculine. That's how they love us! Let them and send them love right back! And ladies, if you still don't feel loved or fulfilled and you find yourself continually seeking and searching -- then you're searching and seeking in the wrong area! Seek God first. Then, through that he will bless you with a man that wants to love you the way that God intended love to be.
We live in a spiritual world that is full of spiritual warfare. Ephesians 6:12 -- For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ladies, let us redirect our actions towards the right victim, not our men. We are not damsels in distress that need saved. Christ has already saved us if we've taken Him into our hearts and allowed Him to be a part of our life -- our whole life. Men cannot rescue us. Stop expecting them to. We need to be strong, faithful, supportive, WOMEN OF CHRIST.
We are Christ's beloved daughters.
Let's start behaving that way. Let's start loving our men.
I'm a people watcher at weddings. I'm not a dancer, but a wallflower. So, I spend a lot of time in observation mode taking around my surroundings. There was a couple, only married for a few years, having a blast during the anniversary dance at the wedding. That fun dance that no one gets to take part in if they aren't married. That dance that continues on until the couple that has been married the longest is on the dance floor alone. It's precious really. But, there was this young couple out there laughing and having such a good time. Everything was fine from the outside perspective. Then, about an hour later the young girl is sitting by another woman, pouting. The woman asked her what was wrong and the young girl responded, "Oh, he's just being stupid. I'm mad at him"... and the list continues. Then, no sooner then she had said that her husband comes back to the table with a beer in his hand after having some laughs with his guy friends. He sits down and turns to his young wife with a smile on his face and she returns the hated pout. He asked her what was wrong and the young girl responded, "Nothing. You just make me mad." Then, she preceded to pout. This young husband sat there trying to coax her into smiling because honestly, I don't think the poor guy even knew what he had done wrong. Actually, I can bet money that he didn't do anything wrong and that the young girl was listening to every single lie in the book that the enemy was throwing in her direction. Did you know that once you become vulnerable and listen to one little lie from the enemy that he takes advantage of that and opens up door after door after door? He knows what he's doing. I just wanted to shake her and hit myself all at the same time because 1. I knew what was going on in her mind and I wanted to hold her and not let her go and 2. I knew that I had done the same thing in the past and this was God really teaching me, convicting me, and embracing me. It's time we all learn how to treat our men with respect.
I sat there and my heart instantly broke. I knew exactly what was going on in this young girl's mind and I didn't even know her name. She was insecure. She was probably thinking that because her husband wasn't right by her side that he didn't love her. She was probably thinking that because he didn't want to dance with her that she wasn't good enough to be seen with. I could take up this entire blog with thoughts that I can guarantee were going through her mind. She was insecure. And there was nothing her husband could do to fix that for her. She wanted her way and she didn't get it, so what did she do? She said there and proclaimed that nothing was wrong and pouted. I sat there and just wanted to shake her and tell her to stop listening to those lies. I wanted to hug the husband because he was trying so hard to make her happy even though he had done nothing wrong to begin with. Ladies, men are not stupid. When we say "nothing", they know it's "something". Again, they are not stupid. We have minds that are like wires. Absolutely everything is connected to something else within our mind. Men have minds like boxes. Absolutely nothing connects and they actually do have a 'nothing' box. Men know this. If you say that nothing is wrong, they will work their hardest to try to provide a solution for your unhappiness because whether you say it or not, they know something's wrong. And ladies, there is no reason that these men need to work so hard to get an answer out of us. Can't we just pray for humility and love our men the way that God intended us to? Can't we just pray and send the enemy and his lies to Christ's feet? We need to start.
Ladies, it's time to stop taking away the masculinity of men. Men received the curse of Adam. In the very beginning of our story, they received a curse.
Genesis 3:17-19 --
“Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat food from it
all the days of your life.
It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
and you will eat the plants of the field.
By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return.”
Men were cursed with the need to provide. They work and they work and they work. Why? Because that's the way they were cursed. They are all built with the need to provide in their heart. They want to provide for us. Can we let them?! Do not bottle up your emotions and hide your heart from them. That hurts them, deep. I've experienced it first hand from my own actions. It hurts them deep in just the way that observing the young girl's actions at the wedding hurt my heart deep. Seeing the way that you have behaved in the past right in front of your face is a conviction that will hit you hard. Ladies, we have to stop. When we say that nothing is wrong - they know that something is wrong. Do not take away the blessing of their provision. They desire to provide and help you walk with Christ. They desire to love you the way that Christ loves the church. They want to protect you and care for you. Let them.
Us as women were also cursed thanks to Eve. Genesis 3:16 -- "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you". Ladies, thanks to Eve this is our curse. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change it. Do you ever wonder why we so desperately seek our husbands love and attention? It's because of Eve. Understand this! We need to stop expecting our husbands, boyfriends, fiances, our men to fulfill all of our needs. Only the Lord can fulfill everything our heart desires. We need to stop placing expectations on the men in our lives. We are breaking them. The more we place expectations on them.. the more we become disappointed.. and this all makes our men feel more inadequate which hurts them deep because it's part of their curse to provide for us! When they feel they can't provide, i.e. meet the expectations we place on them because our desire is so great for their attention, they feel even more broken than they felt to begin with and they will try desperately to fix the issue when the issue probably isn't even about them, nor is it even an issue they can fix.
Ladies, stop taking away the masculinity of our men. We need to yes, submit. This doesn't mean become weak, let them walk all over you, stop following your own dreams and desires. This means, love them the way that we are supposed to love them. We need to support them, encourage them, and let them provide. And when they mess up? Do not break them down even more! I can guarantee that they are trying as hard as they can. Especially, Christian men who love the Lord with their whole heart. They are trying. Let them try! Us as women do this thing -- if a man doesn't respond the way we want them to we get upset. Then, we may talk about it with them and they may listen. The next time we see them -- they are actually doing what we asked to begin with, but now we find something wrong with this. For example, a few weeks ago I was angry because I felt shunned and I felt like I was treated with a huge amount of disrespect from the man that I love. Therefore, I talked to him about it and he expressed to me that it wouldn't happen again, that he was sorry, and that he didn't even realize he was doing it. The next week he was very friendly towards me, asking me what I was doing after church, asking me where I was eating, etc. I left the church angry at him, yet again, and this time it was because he was talking to me and trying to figure out what I was doing when we were on a break. I felt like it wasn't any of his business. What was I thinking?! I had just sat down and expressed to him that I wanted him to be friendly towards me and when he took the initiative and listened, I shunned him! Ladies, we have to stop doing this to our men.
After that wedding and watching the young couple with their pouting, laughs, and insecurities my heart fully broke for our men. Ladies, let's try to love them the way that God intended us to love them and stop taking away their masculinity. Today, I was told by a young believer that I work with, (who I had been talking about Jesus with for the past several weeks) that my faith and my strength inspired her. I have been on a break with my relationship for the past month now and have done nothing but dive into my community, dive into God, dive into my heart, and dive into positive thinking. Apparently, this young girl took notice and found it so encouraging. She explained that she was so inspired because she had not heard one negative word out of my mouth about the man that I'm apart from right now. She said that generally when something happens in a relationship, such as a break, that people aren't normally positive and strong. She said that I was and that she was encouraged because I had only spoken positive things about what I've learned, about the break itself, and about the man that has my heart. That struck my heart and made me tear up a little bit. It was encouraging that I was positive about the man in my life.
Ladies, we need to allow our men to provide, to pray for us, to give us their input and advice. Actually, we should ask for their input and advice -- they desire to give it! We need to try to enjoy what they enjoy - meaning, if they like football.. learn about it! Don't you expect them to at least attempt to enjoy what you enjoy? Like, I don't know -- romantic comedies and shopping? It's what God calls sacrificial love and our men need it just as much as we need it. It means so much to their hearts and it brings glory to God. Allow our men to be masculine. Don't pick out their flaws in front of their friends. Don't question their finances, bills, and debts. Don't be a backseat driver and allow them to drive whether they really know where they're going or not. We want to feel loved, correct? Then, let our men do what God intended our men to do. Provide. Care. Support. Be masculine. That's how they love us! Let them and send them love right back! And ladies, if you still don't feel loved or fulfilled and you find yourself continually seeking and searching -- then you're searching and seeking in the wrong area! Seek God first. Then, through that he will bless you with a man that wants to love you the way that God intended love to be.
We live in a spiritual world that is full of spiritual warfare. Ephesians 6:12 -- For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ladies, let us redirect our actions towards the right victim, not our men. We are not damsels in distress that need saved. Christ has already saved us if we've taken Him into our hearts and allowed Him to be a part of our life -- our whole life. Men cannot rescue us. Stop expecting them to. We need to be strong, faithful, supportive, WOMEN OF CHRIST.
We are Christ's beloved daughters.
Let's start behaving that way. Let's start loving our men.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Become ingrafted.
A few blogs ago, I had written about the process of ingrafting. I had written about the process of becoming new in Christ. I had referenced 2 Corinthians 5:17: Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come! I remember explaining what exactly it means to be 'ingrafted'. The dictionary definition of 'graft' is this, In surgery, a portion of living tissue is surgically transplanted from one part of an individual to another, or from one individual to another, for its adhesion and growth. Sounds a little painful doesn't it?
We as humans need Christ. We need a savior. We're all broken, bruised, and bloodied and the thought of allowing someone else to control our lives sounds impossible for us. We like to do things our own way in our own time. When we decide to dedicate our lives to Christ, we become a new creation. We become ingrafted in Christ. Now, ingrafting doesn't sound like a pleasant thing when you fully dive into the word. And you know what? It's not. Ingrafting from the surgical standpoint I'd assume would not be a pleasant process. It's living tissue that is being transplanted from one area to a whole new area to grow. It's going to cause the most beautiful human to look like Frankenstein --- in the beginning. Ingrafting from the spiritual standpoint, is also not a pleasant process. Yes, it's a beautiful process when you can see the changes that God is making in your heart. The only reason I'd say that it isn't pleasant is because it hurts. It doesn't hurt in the physical sense like a surgery would, but it hurts in the heart.
Jeremiah 17:9-10
"The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful,
a puzzle that no one can figure out.
But I, God, search the heart
and examine the mind.
I get to the heart of the human.
I get to the root of things.
I treat them as they really are,
not as they pretend to be."
Our hearts are deceitful. They are full of pride, arrogance, insecurities, fear, worry, doubt, hate, anger, bitterness.. the list continues on. When we allow God to get in there and dig deep, you're going to feel those awful areas begin to quiver and shake. They are going to want to hold on for dear life, but you must allow God to take control of them. You must allow Him to come beside you and push the boulder out of our path to freedom. Regardless of what convictions He may place on your heart, you must trust Him. You must let Him begin the ingrafting process. Convictions are painful. They are not easy pills to swallow. Yet, they are from God. God convicts his children just as your own father would convict you. Conviction defined means, to impress with a sense of guilt or to declare guilty of an offense. These offenses that we are convicted of are those exact things that our deceitful hearts can be full of. They are things that God wants us to give to Him, so that He may help us become as Christ-like as possible. He wants us to give them to Him, so that we can become free and become new in Christ. When convictions come our way, we shouldn't feel bad about ourselves. God doesn't show us conviction to make us hate ourselves. He shows us conviction because He loves us and wants to help us become better for Him. We need to take his discipline, understand it, and turn it around. With God we can do that. That's the whole point of the test He's trying to get us to sit down and take. He wants us to glorify Him. How are we to do that with hearts full of madness?
I've constantly battled fear. In the past couple weeks, fear is starting to fade from my heart. A month ago, if you were to ask me where I saw myself in 5 years I probably would have been able to answer you. I would have said something like, "Oh you know, in the same city I'm in now, hopefully married, teaching Elementary students at a public school..." Now, if you were to ask me that same question I wouldn't be able to answer you. God has drastically helped me with my battle of fear. I no longer have a desire to stay put. When I was back in high school through the beginning stages of college, I wanted the traditional white picket fence, fully decorated home, huge backyard with the kids playing in it, friends in every direction lifestyle. I can't even fathom that anymore. I'm ready to go wherever God wants me to go and if that means moving to a different area code every week, month, or year then you best believe I'll be doing it. And, the only way I got to that point was because I finally began dedicating my life to Christ. I've finally given the fear in my heart to Him and have let Him begin the ingrafting process. The process of becoming a new creation.
I think we all need to learn humility and give everything to Christ. Oh, you better believe I am in no way a pro at this. But, that's okay because God approves of me either way. He can help me overcome my unbelief no matter how prideful I am. He will heal me of that if I continue to pursue Him and He will do the same for you. Remember, it's a process and it's all about God's time. I was reading yesterday afternoon (Beth Moore - Get Out of That Pit) and I really enjoyed what she said about God's timing -- "I think God often ordains a wait because He purely enjoys the togetherness of it". Remember me explaining that we were created for a relationship with God? How awesome does that make you feel that He wants to spend time with you that much? Our God wants to spend time with us. Believe it.
I've always had this desire to travel everywhere, to build homes for people, to volunteer at soup kitchens, and to meet people all over the place because their stories just interested me -- yet I never knew what exactly I should be to do that. I thought I needed a career to make all of that happen. God has finally pulled out my little girl and showed me that I can do all of that -- for Him. All of those things can glorify Him. Sharing the Gospel and loving people, I can do. The only thing that would have ever stopped me from that is fear. He's casting out fear from my heart. I think we all need to embrace the little kids inside of us and let God really pull them out, along with all those deceitful things within our hearts. Those little kid desires, hopes, and dreams may not be as ridiculous as you think they are. They may not be in the exact way that you'd have thought you'd be pursuing them, but they will be in a better way -- with God. We are called to have a childlike faith, right? Let's start by being obedient to our call regardless of how scared you may initially be of it.
Let Him start that process for you today.
You may spend many nights crying or angry. You may want to give up when it gets hard. You may want to be prideful and long to do it yourself. You may question everything that He's doing and throw a fit. Trust me, I understand. I've felt all of that on this journey. But, humility is our friend and Christ is our lover.
Let Him love you. Let Him heal you.
Let Him heal your heart from madness.
Let's be little kids again.
We as humans need Christ. We need a savior. We're all broken, bruised, and bloodied and the thought of allowing someone else to control our lives sounds impossible for us. We like to do things our own way in our own time. When we decide to dedicate our lives to Christ, we become a new creation. We become ingrafted in Christ. Now, ingrafting doesn't sound like a pleasant thing when you fully dive into the word. And you know what? It's not. Ingrafting from the surgical standpoint I'd assume would not be a pleasant process. It's living tissue that is being transplanted from one area to a whole new area to grow. It's going to cause the most beautiful human to look like Frankenstein --- in the beginning. Ingrafting from the spiritual standpoint, is also not a pleasant process. Yes, it's a beautiful process when you can see the changes that God is making in your heart. The only reason I'd say that it isn't pleasant is because it hurts. It doesn't hurt in the physical sense like a surgery would, but it hurts in the heart.
Jeremiah 17:9-10
"The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful,
a puzzle that no one can figure out.
But I, God, search the heart
and examine the mind.
I get to the heart of the human.
I get to the root of things.
I treat them as they really are,
not as they pretend to be."
Our hearts are deceitful. They are full of pride, arrogance, insecurities, fear, worry, doubt, hate, anger, bitterness.. the list continues on. When we allow God to get in there and dig deep, you're going to feel those awful areas begin to quiver and shake. They are going to want to hold on for dear life, but you must allow God to take control of them. You must allow Him to come beside you and push the boulder out of our path to freedom. Regardless of what convictions He may place on your heart, you must trust Him. You must let Him begin the ingrafting process. Convictions are painful. They are not easy pills to swallow. Yet, they are from God. God convicts his children just as your own father would convict you. Conviction defined means, to impress with a sense of guilt or to declare guilty of an offense. These offenses that we are convicted of are those exact things that our deceitful hearts can be full of. They are things that God wants us to give to Him, so that He may help us become as Christ-like as possible. He wants us to give them to Him, so that we can become free and become new in Christ. When convictions come our way, we shouldn't feel bad about ourselves. God doesn't show us conviction to make us hate ourselves. He shows us conviction because He loves us and wants to help us become better for Him. We need to take his discipline, understand it, and turn it around. With God we can do that. That's the whole point of the test He's trying to get us to sit down and take. He wants us to glorify Him. How are we to do that with hearts full of madness?
I've constantly battled fear. In the past couple weeks, fear is starting to fade from my heart. A month ago, if you were to ask me where I saw myself in 5 years I probably would have been able to answer you. I would have said something like, "Oh you know, in the same city I'm in now, hopefully married, teaching Elementary students at a public school..." Now, if you were to ask me that same question I wouldn't be able to answer you. God has drastically helped me with my battle of fear. I no longer have a desire to stay put. When I was back in high school through the beginning stages of college, I wanted the traditional white picket fence, fully decorated home, huge backyard with the kids playing in it, friends in every direction lifestyle. I can't even fathom that anymore. I'm ready to go wherever God wants me to go and if that means moving to a different area code every week, month, or year then you best believe I'll be doing it. And, the only way I got to that point was because I finally began dedicating my life to Christ. I've finally given the fear in my heart to Him and have let Him begin the ingrafting process. The process of becoming a new creation.
I think we all need to learn humility and give everything to Christ. Oh, you better believe I am in no way a pro at this. But, that's okay because God approves of me either way. He can help me overcome my unbelief no matter how prideful I am. He will heal me of that if I continue to pursue Him and He will do the same for you. Remember, it's a process and it's all about God's time. I was reading yesterday afternoon (Beth Moore - Get Out of That Pit) and I really enjoyed what she said about God's timing -- "I think God often ordains a wait because He purely enjoys the togetherness of it". Remember me explaining that we were created for a relationship with God? How awesome does that make you feel that He wants to spend time with you that much? Our God wants to spend time with us. Believe it.
I've always had this desire to travel everywhere, to build homes for people, to volunteer at soup kitchens, and to meet people all over the place because their stories just interested me -- yet I never knew what exactly I should be to do that. I thought I needed a career to make all of that happen. God has finally pulled out my little girl and showed me that I can do all of that -- for Him. All of those things can glorify Him. Sharing the Gospel and loving people, I can do. The only thing that would have ever stopped me from that is fear. He's casting out fear from my heart. I think we all need to embrace the little kids inside of us and let God really pull them out, along with all those deceitful things within our hearts. Those little kid desires, hopes, and dreams may not be as ridiculous as you think they are. They may not be in the exact way that you'd have thought you'd be pursuing them, but they will be in a better way -- with God. We are called to have a childlike faith, right? Let's start by being obedient to our call regardless of how scared you may initially be of it.
Let Him start that process for you today.
You may spend many nights crying or angry. You may want to give up when it gets hard. You may want to be prideful and long to do it yourself. You may question everything that He's doing and throw a fit. Trust me, I understand. I've felt all of that on this journey. But, humility is our friend and Christ is our lover.
Let Him love you. Let Him heal you.
Let Him heal your heart from madness.
Let's be little kids again.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Expectations.
I highly recommend that if you're struggling with anything in life to take a break. Whether it's a relationship, a job, a habit, or whatever the case may be - I recommend taking a break if you feel like you've hit a wall. I recommend you take a break and spend time with God, not just some time - a lot of time. He will teach you so many things if you just allow yourself the time and commitment that he desires from us.
If I wouldn't be taking a break with things in my life right now, I probably wouldn't have started initiating with people the way that I am now (not that I chose the break I'm in, but God wanted me and He got me. I also had a loving man in my life who God blessed me with who helped God take my heart). I had lost myself. I had become quiet, reserved, angry, and selfish. I wasn't myself in any way, shape, or form. God is helping me find myself again. He is helping me find my identity with Him again. With this in my mind now, I'm initiating with people who I've been too scared or too judgmental to have initiated with before. And I can't even express how clearly God is working. If none of this had happened, I would not have had an ice cream date yesterday with a wonderful woman. Through her, she introduced me to Mike and Tammy Smith (introduced me to them by showing me some relationship sermons that they had done last August). Through listening to those sermons (even just the first two - it's a series of four), my outlook on things has drastically changed. God is so faithful.
Expectations. Who can honestly say that they don't have expectations? We have expectations of everything. The biggest of which seems to be people. We have expectations of people. We especially have expectations of people we're in relationships with. After listening to one of the sermons strictly on expectations, my mind is blown. Tammy said something that has been officially imprinted on my heart - "We are missing the beautiful uniqueness of the people in front of us so often because of our pictures of what he or she should be doing". People are beautiful. Yet, they continually disappoint us... or so we think. People do not disappoint, expectations do. No one can make you feel angry, it's the expectations that you hold over them that disappoint you and generate the feeling of anger towards that person. In relationships we hold some of the most irrational, questionable, ridiculous expectations over our partners heads. We make them feel trapped with these expectations because it's a continual cycle of them trying to live up to our expectations and then us shutting them down because they didn't quite meet the exact expectations we had to begin with. It's a constant state of disappointment and failure. This is awful. We as children of Christ are free. We are free with Christ. Why do we constantly trap each other?
Tammy listed a whole list of expectations that we hold in relationships. That our partner is sinless. That they will do what we want. That they will change nasty habits. That they will like our family. That they will automatically enjoy our hobbies. That they would want to spend as much time with us as we want to with them. That they would be able to read our mind. That they would like everything about us. And finally, that he or she will change. How do you feel now? I'm guilty of every single one of these expectations. Can't you see how irrational they are? We are self-centered, selfish individuals without Christ. Tammy made the comment that we expect our partners to want to do things we enjoy and then when they do them out of love for us that it's still not enough because they didn't really mean it, they just did it. That is what it means to sacrificially love. We all need to be this way!
We as Christians have a challenge. When we are in a relationship it is not about us. It's not about our values. Expectations set others up for failure and set us up for disappointment. We are told in Colossians 3:2 to "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things". "Expectations are earthly things. It's a mindset focused on this earth". As Christians, we are to have no expectations. That is what Christ wants for us. Again, He tells us to not set our minds on earthly things. God is teaching me all about selfishness. I am selfish. But, guess what - He is healing.
I just pray that we can all begin to understand that expectations are not Christ like. They are not for each other. We cannot have them. They generate feelings of want and desire from human beings that they can never fulfill. We need to gain our satisfaction from God. He will now, forever, and always meet our expectations. It is so unfair to place expectations on people we love. It's a recipe for disaster that will always end up in one person feeling inadequate and the other person feeling unfulfilled. God will always fill us!
Isaiah 55:1-3
“Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live.
My prayer is that we can realize this truth and embrace it. We must not have expectations. We must love sacrificially, serve each other, and let God do all the work. We must trust Him and gain our fill from Him. If you're placing expectations on someone you love, stop. We must love one another the way that he intended love to be and love is not self-seeking.
God is teaching me so many things right now and I'm so thankful. He is faithful and He will heal your heart if you allow Him to do it.
Allow Him.
Let Him be the Father that he will forever be.
If I wouldn't be taking a break with things in my life right now, I probably wouldn't have started initiating with people the way that I am now (not that I chose the break I'm in, but God wanted me and He got me. I also had a loving man in my life who God blessed me with who helped God take my heart). I had lost myself. I had become quiet, reserved, angry, and selfish. I wasn't myself in any way, shape, or form. God is helping me find myself again. He is helping me find my identity with Him again. With this in my mind now, I'm initiating with people who I've been too scared or too judgmental to have initiated with before. And I can't even express how clearly God is working. If none of this had happened, I would not have had an ice cream date yesterday with a wonderful woman. Through her, she introduced me to Mike and Tammy Smith (introduced me to them by showing me some relationship sermons that they had done last August). Through listening to those sermons (even just the first two - it's a series of four), my outlook on things has drastically changed. God is so faithful.
Expectations. Who can honestly say that they don't have expectations? We have expectations of everything. The biggest of which seems to be people. We have expectations of people. We especially have expectations of people we're in relationships with. After listening to one of the sermons strictly on expectations, my mind is blown. Tammy said something that has been officially imprinted on my heart - "We are missing the beautiful uniqueness of the people in front of us so often because of our pictures of what he or she should be doing". People are beautiful. Yet, they continually disappoint us... or so we think. People do not disappoint, expectations do. No one can make you feel angry, it's the expectations that you hold over them that disappoint you and generate the feeling of anger towards that person. In relationships we hold some of the most irrational, questionable, ridiculous expectations over our partners heads. We make them feel trapped with these expectations because it's a continual cycle of them trying to live up to our expectations and then us shutting them down because they didn't quite meet the exact expectations we had to begin with. It's a constant state of disappointment and failure. This is awful. We as children of Christ are free. We are free with Christ. Why do we constantly trap each other?
Tammy listed a whole list of expectations that we hold in relationships. That our partner is sinless. That they will do what we want. That they will change nasty habits. That they will like our family. That they will automatically enjoy our hobbies. That they would want to spend as much time with us as we want to with them. That they would be able to read our mind. That they would like everything about us. And finally, that he or she will change. How do you feel now? I'm guilty of every single one of these expectations. Can't you see how irrational they are? We are self-centered, selfish individuals without Christ. Tammy made the comment that we expect our partners to want to do things we enjoy and then when they do them out of love for us that it's still not enough because they didn't really mean it, they just did it. That is what it means to sacrificially love. We all need to be this way!
We as Christians have a challenge. When we are in a relationship it is not about us. It's not about our values. Expectations set others up for failure and set us up for disappointment. We are told in Colossians 3:2 to "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things". "Expectations are earthly things. It's a mindset focused on this earth". As Christians, we are to have no expectations. That is what Christ wants for us. Again, He tells us to not set our minds on earthly things. God is teaching me all about selfishness. I am selfish. But, guess what - He is healing.
I just pray that we can all begin to understand that expectations are not Christ like. They are not for each other. We cannot have them. They generate feelings of want and desire from human beings that they can never fulfill. We need to gain our satisfaction from God. He will now, forever, and always meet our expectations. It is so unfair to place expectations on people we love. It's a recipe for disaster that will always end up in one person feeling inadequate and the other person feeling unfulfilled. God will always fill us!
Isaiah 55:1-3
“Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
God is teaching me so many things right now and I'm so thankful. He is faithful and He will heal your heart if you allow Him to do it.
Allow Him.
Let Him be the Father that he will forever be.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Just go.
If I were to rewind my life to last summer, I would never have thought that God would be leading me in the direction that he is right now. Today, as I was praying I couldn't help but cry. I was overwhelmed with joy. I was overwhelmed with passion. And I was overwhelmed with confidence. The holy spirit is working in my heart and telling me several different things. The two regarding my direction with ministry are the two I'm about to discuss. I have never felt more led to do what I'm feeling led to do right now. And after constant worry, fear, frustration, and anxiety over it - I'm finally at peace. And with that peace, I have never been more passionate and joyful in my heart as I am right now.
Teenagers. Who honestly enjoys the raging hormones, the fits of anger, the tears of broken hearts and confused relationships, and the stubbornness that some teenagers will throw your way? For some reason, God wants that to be my ministry. It has never been more clear to me that that is where I need to be. The amount of joy that is brought to my heart dealing with several young kids and seeing their growth is out of this world. The fact that I can sit with them and talk about Jesus and love them is so incredible. That is my passion. I remember being in high school and going to Young Life. The female leaders were so wise, caring, and compassionate and I could do nothing less than admire them. They are my constant inspiration. I'm ready for God to use me however he wants to use me with these kids. I'm willing and I'm ready to go. This passion really became clear to me when I was in India. I had so many teenagers come up to me in particular. They wanted me to pray for them. They wanted me to talk to them. Me. I was on a team with two other people, yet the majority of the people that reacted to them were older. Anytime my discernment would kick in, it always seemed to be towards a teenager. I could always pick out who I needed to talk to. And they all seemed to be teenagers. Most of my contacts were teenagers. God brought them to me. I'm ready God, throw the hormones my direction.
India. If you were to tell me even two months ago that my heart would be running for India, I would have instantly said that you were crazy and there was absolutely no way. Period, end of story. You're out of your mind. Well, God obviously had a different plan for me and was going to throw me into it whether I liked it or not. Every single day, my heart feels for the people in India. My thoughts remember the faces of the people of India. My passion sits with the young females over in India. For their freedom, their hope, their life that only God can give.
We are called to be ambassadors for Christ -- 2 Corinthians 5:20 "We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us". We are to tell everyone about Christ. I can tell you right now that I would not look forward to 110 degree dry heat with air conditioners that constantly need water put in them, with water I'm not able to drink, and bathrooms I have to squat above to use. But, God can't use us to our full potential if we're comfortable. Where in scripture does it ever say that we will be comfortable, that we will have lavish things, that we will get to do what we want? It's not about us. It's about Christ. We have to be willing. I'm finally at peace with that.
A wise woman said something to me in a message one day that sticks close to my heart. She said, "None of us should be that comfortable in America, because it's not our home either. American Christians have to work harder at following Christ. They have it so easy that they've left God unemployed. They don't have to live by faith really,and I don't think people really are living by faith unless they are sharing the Gospel and being totally available to Him IN America or anywhere else". Convicting? Yeah, I thought so. I felt convicted to. This is not our home. We are foreigners in America just as much as we are in India or Ukraine. We can't leave God unemployed. We have to obey the call that He has sent our way. If you asked me, "How do you know that's where God wants you?" I wouldn't be able to answer you. I'm just being obedient and following Christ where my heart is leading me. The Holy Spirit finds a home in our hearts. And when that Holy Spirit moves in our hearts, you can't deny it. It's an overwhelming passion, joy, and tug. And if we don't listen to it, we are being disobedient.
Wherever God wants us he will bring us to it and through it. Yes, I feel called to be in India. Yes, I feel called to be in ministry with teenagers. No, this doesn't mean I pick up and move to India immediately and only work with teenagers. That would just be unwise. But, that's not saying that if I felt called to be there tomorrow that I wouldn't go. I would go. If it's in God's plan for me to be there, I will be obedient. The point is that we have to be willing. Wherever God has us is where He wants us for the moment. So, if we're in an ordinary city with ordinary people, it is still not our home. We still need to be obedient. We need to follow the call wherever God has us right now. And we need to be willing. I struggled with this thought for awhile. I wasn't ready to give up my comfortable life. I wasn't sure where God wanted me to go. It was like I was expecting Him to come down and tell me every single detail about His plan for me. We just have to be ready to pick up and go if God wants it. No matter what, we just have to be willing. It's such a simple concept. But, we let fear take over.
We can't let fear take over. We must be willing. We can't constantly question everything that God wants for us. This is something He has definitely been convicting me with lately. I question everything. It's fine time I learned though that that defeats the purpose of trusting Him completely. That defeats the purpose of relying on Him. If I'm questioning what He is doing with me, that's questioning His power. And our God is all knowing, all seeing, and all powerful. That disobedience and those question don't help growth at all. We can't grow unless we are uncomfortable. We can't grow unless we are weak. We can't grow unless we are broken. We just have to be willing to be uncomfortable, weak, and broken.
I can't even imagine my life without telling people about Christ anymore. I have to tell people. I have to go. I'm ready to give my heart, soul, and body for the sake of the Gospel.
Let's be those ambassadors.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Journey.
Every single person on this Earth longs for one thing -- love. We all fight so hard for this desire. Yet, it is freely given to us by Christ. Why do we fight to gain this thing we call love? Why do we search so hard? It's because we rely to find it solely from human beings. We search in all the wrong places for this love. We follow our own desires for this love. I'm here to tell you that this is just not how it was intended to be. I spent two weeks preaching the Gospel in India and somehow I managed to forget the truth that I spoke. God created us because He desired a relationship. Sure, He created the animals. But, when was the last time that you spoke to an animal and they answered back? Unless you start describing the horse named Mr. Ed from TV Land, you can only say that this has never has happened. They don't have conversations with you. So, what did God do? He created us. He created humans. He created creatures that hold the same characteristics that He does. He was an artist with the ability to create us. We are "fearfully and wonderfully made". And that relationship that He desired and created us for then, still exists to this very day. His love is unchanging. That desire from God has not changed.
In order for us to understand anything in this world we have to constantly speak with our Father. He knows the desires of our heart. He knows our story because He wrote it. The only way that we'll ever feel secure and content in this world is if we find that completely in Him. Contentment is a learned choice. We need to learn as humans that contentment does not come from our own desires being met. We cannot have real joy if we continually base it on our circumstances. Sure, we can get what we want and feel 'joy' for a short period. But, the second something doesn't go our way we feel angry again. It's instant. God is the only way that we can find that true joy. The Word says that "the eyes of man is never satisfied." So, why do we constantly try to meet that satisfaction without Christ? It makes no sense. We are so blinded by what the enemy is telling us. He is a liar. It's as simple as that. There is absolutely nothing Satan can say that is true. He's incapable of telling the truth. The lies of not being wanted, of not being accepted, of not being fought for, of not being good enough, of not being loved - are all lies. They are all things that we need Christ for. Humans will fail. Humans are not perfect. Humans will upset you. Humans cannot give you what only Christ can.
It's time we stop having expectations of people. It's time we stop letting the insecurities and the lies control our lives. Why let something that only wants to destroy us [the enemy] control us when we can instead let something that only wants to love us [Christ] help us? We need Christ's help. We need Christ's guidance. We need Christ's love. We need Christ's grace. We need Christ - all of Him, every single second of every single day. And He freely offers it, every single second of every single day. We can't do anything without Him. It makes no sense for us to continue to let the things of our past, the things that have hurt us the most, control our present when we know the truth. We were created for a relationship with Christ. We need to be content with our circumstances. We need to find true contentment and security with Christ before anything else. Once we accept that, we can be free. It's time to break chains and let the lies go. We can do this with Christ. Stop letting your emotions, your fears, and your insecurities tell you otherwise. [God desires that we take authority over our bad habits. He doesn't want us to be "bossed around" by our emotions, He wants us to have victory. - Joyce Meyer]. With Christ, we will always be victorious. We need to soak in that truth. Yes, we as humans will fail and are incapable of defeating the enemy. But, we have a God who is willing to fight by our side and who we know holds the victory, every single time.
Stop letting the enemy control. Stop searching for anything but Christ. I want to be a mom someday. And let me tell you, I will make a phenomenal mom. But, if I have a little girl who doesn't see her worth because too many boys have broken her heart and I'm not secure enough in Christ to help her understand that she's worth it.. my heart will be broken. It's time we as humans realize that Christ is all we need. We can be secure in Him and He will never let us down. Again, humans will fail you. But, Christ created all of us to love Him and be secure in Him so that we can love each other. We can't love each other without giving everything to Christ. We can't love each other when we hold expectations of being great and finding joy always in another human being. We were not created for that. We need to start living in that truth. We need to start being content with where God has us, soaking in his security. We need to start having faith that He can help us with everything. We need to start having faith that He WILL help us with everything if we just let Him.
Let Him.
"Let your character or moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] has said, I will not in any way fail you, nor give you up, nor leave you without support. [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless, nor forsake, nor let [you] down."
Hebrews 13:5 [AMP] --
In order for us to understand anything in this world we have to constantly speak with our Father. He knows the desires of our heart. He knows our story because He wrote it. The only way that we'll ever feel secure and content in this world is if we find that completely in Him. Contentment is a learned choice. We need to learn as humans that contentment does not come from our own desires being met. We cannot have real joy if we continually base it on our circumstances. Sure, we can get what we want and feel 'joy' for a short period. But, the second something doesn't go our way we feel angry again. It's instant. God is the only way that we can find that true joy. The Word says that "the eyes of man is never satisfied." So, why do we constantly try to meet that satisfaction without Christ? It makes no sense. We are so blinded by what the enemy is telling us. He is a liar. It's as simple as that. There is absolutely nothing Satan can say that is true. He's incapable of telling the truth. The lies of not being wanted, of not being accepted, of not being fought for, of not being good enough, of not being loved - are all lies. They are all things that we need Christ for. Humans will fail. Humans are not perfect. Humans will upset you. Humans cannot give you what only Christ can.
It's time we stop having expectations of people. It's time we stop letting the insecurities and the lies control our lives. Why let something that only wants to destroy us [the enemy] control us when we can instead let something that only wants to love us [Christ] help us? We need Christ's help. We need Christ's guidance. We need Christ's love. We need Christ's grace. We need Christ - all of Him, every single second of every single day. And He freely offers it, every single second of every single day. We can't do anything without Him. It makes no sense for us to continue to let the things of our past, the things that have hurt us the most, control our present when we know the truth. We were created for a relationship with Christ. We need to be content with our circumstances. We need to find true contentment and security with Christ before anything else. Once we accept that, we can be free. It's time to break chains and let the lies go. We can do this with Christ. Stop letting your emotions, your fears, and your insecurities tell you otherwise. [God desires that we take authority over our bad habits. He doesn't want us to be "bossed around" by our emotions, He wants us to have victory. - Joyce Meyer]. With Christ, we will always be victorious. We need to soak in that truth. Yes, we as humans will fail and are incapable of defeating the enemy. But, we have a God who is willing to fight by our side and who we know holds the victory, every single time.
Stop letting the enemy control. Stop searching for anything but Christ. I want to be a mom someday. And let me tell you, I will make a phenomenal mom. But, if I have a little girl who doesn't see her worth because too many boys have broken her heart and I'm not secure enough in Christ to help her understand that she's worth it.. my heart will be broken. It's time we as humans realize that Christ is all we need. We can be secure in Him and He will never let us down. Again, humans will fail you. But, Christ created all of us to love Him and be secure in Him so that we can love each other. We can't love each other without giving everything to Christ. We can't love each other when we hold expectations of being great and finding joy always in another human being. We were not created for that. We need to start living in that truth. We need to start being content with where God has us, soaking in his security. We need to start having faith that He can help us with everything. We need to start having faith that He WILL help us with everything if we just let Him.
Let Him.
"Let your character or moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] has said, I will not in any way fail you, nor give you up, nor leave you without support. [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless, nor forsake, nor let [you] down."
Hebrews 13:5 [AMP] --
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Fighting the pit.
I haven't posted anything since April and quite a lot has happened since that time. The last post I wrote was about a humbled heart. Since that time, I've prayed and prayed for God to humble me and my hardened heart. A few days ago, he finally managed to gain complete control over that and grab my whole body, soul, and heart - kicking and screaming.
Looking at the word broken initially you don't find it very attractive. Yet, knowing that God can heal any and all brokenness makes the word look beautiful. Through being broken, we will rely on Him with everything we've got. There's nothing else for us to lose. I'm thankful for the chance I have right now to find all security in Christ. It's time to be obedient and listen. I've gone through the motions of getting out of 'the pit' I've been in for years now. It's time for action. God has made so many things apparent to me in just a matter of a few days. I'm ugly, mean, bitter, angry, and prideful without Him. I'm conscious of the behavior I need to use, yet I let the Devil take my emotions and I allow them to control me. I need to allow the Holy Spirit to control me.
I'm currently reading Get Out of that Pit by Beth Moore and my world is being wrecked. So much truth is being thrown in my direction and finally I'm starting to listen. The main thing that caught my attention today was this: "We think we want people to lie down next to us, feel what we feel, and give us permission to stay there. But if they do, they help talk us into making ourselves at home in the early grave Satan dug for us. They agree to our living death. Christ got down next to us in the grave, stayed the better part of three days, and then got up...so we'd have permission to get up too. And start living life. Beloved, let this one sink in deeply: if God allowed you to be thrown into a pit, you weren't picked on; you were picked out. God entrusted that suffering to you because He has faith in you. Live up to it. All the way up". Talk about something hitting you in the face. Nothing has made more sense to me than that passage right there. 1 Corinthians 10:13 - "No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it". God will not put us through anything that we cannot get through. If we try to get through it on our own, then yes, we're forming a pit in our life. But, he'll always be there to help you come through it. We need His help and he freely offers it. It's time we take it.
I've constantly struggled with the whole abandonment ordeal. Men in my past became nothing but young boys. I always put my faith in them. I always trusted them. I always wanted them. I always turned to them. What did they do? They let me down. Why? Because they are, were, and will always be human. We as humans are incapable of completely fulfilling each others needs. We are not perfect. We make mistakes. I've always known this, clearly how could you not, but I've never really listened. On the other hand, if I had made the decision to put my faith in HIM who is perfect, trusted HIM, wanted HIM, and turned to HIM things would have been a little different. I never consciously did that. I had allowed myself to stay in that pit of fear, that pit of insecurity, that pit of not being wanted, and that pit of utter destruction.
God is speaking to me day after day. The truth of His word says that He will help me get through my struggles. It's as easy as finding that security, that love, and that freedom from Him. He's our best friend. He's our lover. I've known this my entire life, yet I've been disobedient with that knowledge. The second I actually started to understand obedience I got on a plane and flew half way around the world to a country by the name of India. That's when I started to get hit with balls of fire from the enemy. In India, everything was wonderful. Why? Because I was constantly relying on God and not myself, my emotions, my thoughts, my ways. I was relying on Him. The second I came home from India everything went downhill. Why? Because I was constantly relying on myself, my emotions, my thoughts, my ways. I was letting the Devil get his stronghold back. I wasn't intentionally relying on myself. I know the truth and I know I need to always rely on Christ. But, back in America, I was back in my world. I had my job, my relationships, my amenities, everything that was familiar to me. I wasn't constantly working with God, so consciously I didn't even think to rely on Him as much. I fell back into my pit about a mile deeper than I was before I left for India.
Now is the time to be obedient. I'm learning just this. In the past couple days completely devoting my time to finding myself again with Christ, I've become extremely discerning concerning some strongholds in my life. I'm learning how to flip the truth that I know in the back of my mind to the front of my mind - at all times. It's not easy. But, being in constant prayer and talking to my best friend, He makes it easy. Since when has it been hard for humans to have conversations with their best friends? It's not hard for us as humans to talk. We are social creatures and we crave the attention. Getting my attention from God and listening to His advice is something I should have learned to do a long time ago. It's time that we start allowing God to get us out of these pits that we're in and fully rely on Him. Because remember, He put us into these pits because we were picked out. God put us through that suffering because He has faith in us. He picked us.
Psalm 94:16-19 --
Who stood up for me against the wicked?
Who took my side against evil workers?
If God hadn't been there for me,
I never would have made it.
The minute I said, "I'm slipping, I'm falling,"
your love, God, took hold and held me fast.
When I was upset and beside myself,
you calmed me down and cheered me up.
It's time we allow God to get us out of our pits.
Listen. Have faith. Take heart.
He will hold our hands. He will guard our hearts.
I've constantly struggled with the whole abandonment ordeal. Men in my past became nothing but young boys. I always put my faith in them. I always trusted them. I always wanted them. I always turned to them. What did they do? They let me down. Why? Because they are, were, and will always be human. We as humans are incapable of completely fulfilling each others needs. We are not perfect. We make mistakes. I've always known this, clearly how could you not, but I've never really listened. On the other hand, if I had made the decision to put my faith in HIM who is perfect, trusted HIM, wanted HIM, and turned to HIM things would have been a little different. I never consciously did that. I had allowed myself to stay in that pit of fear, that pit of insecurity, that pit of not being wanted, and that pit of utter destruction.
God is speaking to me day after day. The truth of His word says that He will help me get through my struggles. It's as easy as finding that security, that love, and that freedom from Him. He's our best friend. He's our lover. I've known this my entire life, yet I've been disobedient with that knowledge. The second I actually started to understand obedience I got on a plane and flew half way around the world to a country by the name of India. That's when I started to get hit with balls of fire from the enemy. In India, everything was wonderful. Why? Because I was constantly relying on God and not myself, my emotions, my thoughts, my ways. I was relying on Him. The second I came home from India everything went downhill. Why? Because I was constantly relying on myself, my emotions, my thoughts, my ways. I was letting the Devil get his stronghold back. I wasn't intentionally relying on myself. I know the truth and I know I need to always rely on Christ. But, back in America, I was back in my world. I had my job, my relationships, my amenities, everything that was familiar to me. I wasn't constantly working with God, so consciously I didn't even think to rely on Him as much. I fell back into my pit about a mile deeper than I was before I left for India.
Now is the time to be obedient. I'm learning just this. In the past couple days completely devoting my time to finding myself again with Christ, I've become extremely discerning concerning some strongholds in my life. I'm learning how to flip the truth that I know in the back of my mind to the front of my mind - at all times. It's not easy. But, being in constant prayer and talking to my best friend, He makes it easy. Since when has it been hard for humans to have conversations with their best friends? It's not hard for us as humans to talk. We are social creatures and we crave the attention. Getting my attention from God and listening to His advice is something I should have learned to do a long time ago. It's time that we start allowing God to get us out of these pits that we're in and fully rely on Him. Because remember, He put us into these pits because we were picked out. God put us through that suffering because He has faith in us. He picked us.
Psalm 94:16-19 --
Who stood up for me against the wicked?
Who took my side against evil workers?
If God hadn't been there for me,
I never would have made it.
The minute I said, "I'm slipping, I'm falling,"
your love, God, took hold and held me fast.
When I was upset and beside myself,
you calmed me down and cheered me up.
It's time we allow God to get us out of our pits.
Listen. Have faith. Take heart.
He will hold our hands. He will guard our hearts.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Humbled Heart.
What is humility? What can come from a humbled heart? What does becoming humble even mean? Humility has been trying to be the Batman to my Robin the past several weeks and my heart seems to continually be struggling with the Joker and the Penguin. In other words, God has placed humility on my heart for weeks now and the enemy is not pleased. The enemy has continually been in my head telling me that, "You are stubborn", "You were created this way", "You are this". The enemy is allowing my mind to tell my heart that my stubbornness defines who I am. That my past behaviors and situations define who I am and who I will become. It's slowly and thankfully becoming a realization that this is just not true.
So, what is humility? Humility is where we view our own importance as lowly. Humility makes us patient in our trials and it is something we learn. Humility is something we learn how to grasp the more we grow in our relationship with Christ. Proverbs 11:2 When pride comes, then comes disgrace but with humility comes wisdom. Pride is something we all have. If we say we don't, we are probably just being prideful. C.S. Lewis says, "A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you're looking down, you can't see something that's above you". I couldn't have said it better myself, Clive. Thank you.
Psalm 10:4 In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God. Why do we even want pride? With pride, there is no room for God. With no room for God, there is plenty of room for the enemy. With plenty of room for the enemy, we are going to fall. It's simple really. The second something terrible happens and we let pride in - it's so hard to shut it down. We will fall unless we give it to God and allow our hearts to be humbled. Let me tell you - it is not easy.
There have been several nights in the past few weeks where I have been blinded by the immense amount of pride that has found its way into my vision. There have been several nights where I have yelled, cried, and ran because I let my pride get the best of me. Why in the world do I want to let something so ugly have the best of me? The best of me. Letting go of pride and asking God to humble my heart has been one of the hardest things I've dealt with in my relationship with Him so far. Pride is something that I have just considered a part of me since middle school. I thought it was just 'who I was'. Making something like that 'just who you are' for 10+ years is something that has obviously made a home for itself within your heart. Then, the second it's asked to come out and play it's clearly going to - it's used to it, almost like you're old friends. Giving pride to God and asking for humility to enter your heart instead is a process and it can be ugly. I've seen it be ugly. But, the knowledge that in the long run it will be beautiful is something that I can remember when my mind is rational once again. That knowledge is encouraging.
Therefore, I encourage anyone that if you are struggling with pride - send it on its way. It's ugly and full of hate. God hates it and wants to bless you with the gift of a humble heart. Let Him. Always remember this - Keep on asking and it will be given you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking [reverently]and [the door] will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7. Remember that. Ask God to humble your heart. With time, with obedience, with knowledge, with love - it will come to you. You may have to go through some ugly first. Actually, you will go through some ugly first. But, remember that once you're through that ugly you'll see beauty. Beauty will always come from brokenness.
Just ask Belle.
She knows all about broken ugliness turning into beauty.
Did you see her Prince Charming?
So, what is humility? Humility is where we view our own importance as lowly. Humility makes us patient in our trials and it is something we learn. Humility is something we learn how to grasp the more we grow in our relationship with Christ. Proverbs 11:2 When pride comes, then comes disgrace but with humility comes wisdom. Pride is something we all have. If we say we don't, we are probably just being prideful. C.S. Lewis says, "A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you're looking down, you can't see something that's above you". I couldn't have said it better myself, Clive. Thank you.
Psalm 10:4 In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God. Why do we even want pride? With pride, there is no room for God. With no room for God, there is plenty of room for the enemy. With plenty of room for the enemy, we are going to fall. It's simple really. The second something terrible happens and we let pride in - it's so hard to shut it down. We will fall unless we give it to God and allow our hearts to be humbled. Let me tell you - it is not easy.
There have been several nights in the past few weeks where I have been blinded by the immense amount of pride that has found its way into my vision. There have been several nights where I have yelled, cried, and ran because I let my pride get the best of me. Why in the world do I want to let something so ugly have the best of me? The best of me. Letting go of pride and asking God to humble my heart has been one of the hardest things I've dealt with in my relationship with Him so far. Pride is something that I have just considered a part of me since middle school. I thought it was just 'who I was'. Making something like that 'just who you are' for 10+ years is something that has obviously made a home for itself within your heart. Then, the second it's asked to come out and play it's clearly going to - it's used to it, almost like you're old friends. Giving pride to God and asking for humility to enter your heart instead is a process and it can be ugly. I've seen it be ugly. But, the knowledge that in the long run it will be beautiful is something that I can remember when my mind is rational once again. That knowledge is encouraging.
Therefore, I encourage anyone that if you are struggling with pride - send it on its way. It's ugly and full of hate. God hates it and wants to bless you with the gift of a humble heart. Let Him. Always remember this - Keep on asking and it will be given you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking [reverently]and [the door] will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7. Remember that. Ask God to humble your heart. With time, with obedience, with knowledge, with love - it will come to you. You may have to go through some ugly first. Actually, you will go through some ugly first. But, remember that once you're through that ugly you'll see beauty. Beauty will always come from brokenness.
Just ask Belle.
She knows all about broken ugliness turning into beauty.
Did you see her Prince Charming?
Friday, February 17, 2012
Worth overcomes brokenness.
Lately I've been struggling. With pride, with stubbornness, with irrational thoughts. I've been struggling to trust. I've been struggling with faith. What I mean by this is I've been struggling with letting God do what He does and leaving it to Him. Trusting that He cares about all of my brokenness and if I ask and trust that He will help me. It's a simple concept really. We all know that He cares. But, in our moments of weakness the enemy rips that knowledge away from us and coaxes us into thinking we're no good. Lately I've been struggling.
Lately I've been praying. Constant communication with a God who knows my heart completely and still has an unfailing love for me is comforting. It's a truth that the enemy can never take away from me. Psalm 139:2-4 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. He knows our hearts and His grace, love, and mercy are so unbelievable our minds can't process it. At least I know that mine can't. The enemy continuously shoots every lie in the book in my direction to make me forget about this love. Lately I've been praying.
What have I been praying for? A transformed heart. I need a transformation in my heart. Ephesians 1:4 Long before he laid down Earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. I want a heart that can love the way God's heart loves. I need a transformation to love not only my broken self, but every other person's broken self. 1 John 4:18 There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life -fear of death, fear of judgment - is one not yet fully formed in love. This means that we need to love. Now, when we lose control and we believe the lies; when we are blinded by anger and fear; when we forget why we love who we're fighting with in the first place; when we get mad at ourselves because of our irrational behavior and in turn take it out on whoever is around us - where is that love? It's hard. It's hard to find a love as unfailing as Christ's. It's hard to maintain that in moments of brokenness. One thing I now know though - God can show us and help us transform to love the way He loves. We have prayer. James 4:2 (AMP) You are jealous and covet [what others have] and your desires go unfulfilled; [so] you become murderers. [To hate is to murder as far as your hearts are concerned.] You burn with envy and anger and are not able to obtain [the gratification, the contentment, and the happiness that you seek], so you fight and war. You do not have, because you do not ask. We are allowed to ask. God wants us to ask. The enemy causes us to lash out, to lose control, to seek our own ways and to block out anyone who tries to get close to our heart. The enemy tries whatever tactics he can to cause us to run in the other direction of asking God for anything. He throws those lies in our heads such as - "You're not good enough to receive anything from God", "You are stubborn and that is who you are - why would you even listen to God if He helped you? Therefore, don't ask because you know you won't trust Him", and the list continues.
When we are struggling and searching and yearning for something in our hearts to grow we have to ask God. We have to depend on Him and we have to trust Him. It's the only solution to our problems. The enemy gives us the misconception that humans can help us, that we can help ourselves. This is not truth. We let ourselves down and every single human on this Earth will let someone down and that's exactly how God intended it to be. His intention is for us to run to Him when we need help, to lean on Him when we're seeking something to make us feel whole. Only He can provide that for us and the second we realize that things start to make sense. Finally I'm seeing this. Finally I'm doing the asking. Finally I'm realizing that it's not going to happen overnight and I need to be a patient human being. Finally I'm learning to do this. It will take time, it will take obedience, it will take risks, and I need faith. Finally I'm allowing myself to trust - slowly but surely. We all grow at different times and in different ways. And you know what? God knows what He's doing and everything that we go through is all part of His plan. Do not fear. This is a world full of broken people who try to rely on other broken people to heal their own brokenness. This is a world full of broken people who have everything wrong and misconstrued. This is a world full of broken people who really only need one thing and that is Christ.
Lately I've been struggling. Lately I've been praying.
Lately I've been seeing bits and bits of transformation starting and growing.
And even if it's tiny transformation, one step at a time - it's still transformation. It's still God doing work on my heart.
Praise Him.
Lately I've been praying. Constant communication with a God who knows my heart completely and still has an unfailing love for me is comforting. It's a truth that the enemy can never take away from me. Psalm 139:2-4 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. He knows our hearts and His grace, love, and mercy are so unbelievable our minds can't process it. At least I know that mine can't. The enemy continuously shoots every lie in the book in my direction to make me forget about this love. Lately I've been praying.
What have I been praying for? A transformed heart. I need a transformation in my heart. Ephesians 1:4 Long before he laid down Earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. I want a heart that can love the way God's heart loves. I need a transformation to love not only my broken self, but every other person's broken self. 1 John 4:18 There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life -fear of death, fear of judgment - is one not yet fully formed in love. This means that we need to love. Now, when we lose control and we believe the lies; when we are blinded by anger and fear; when we forget why we love who we're fighting with in the first place; when we get mad at ourselves because of our irrational behavior and in turn take it out on whoever is around us - where is that love? It's hard. It's hard to find a love as unfailing as Christ's. It's hard to maintain that in moments of brokenness. One thing I now know though - God can show us and help us transform to love the way He loves. We have prayer. James 4:2 (AMP) You are jealous and covet [what others have] and your desires go unfulfilled; [so] you become murderers. [To hate is to murder as far as your hearts are concerned.] You burn with envy and anger and are not able to obtain [the gratification, the contentment, and the happiness that you seek], so you fight and war. You do not have, because you do not ask. We are allowed to ask. God wants us to ask. The enemy causes us to lash out, to lose control, to seek our own ways and to block out anyone who tries to get close to our heart. The enemy tries whatever tactics he can to cause us to run in the other direction of asking God for anything. He throws those lies in our heads such as - "You're not good enough to receive anything from God", "You are stubborn and that is who you are - why would you even listen to God if He helped you? Therefore, don't ask because you know you won't trust Him", and the list continues.
When we are struggling and searching and yearning for something in our hearts to grow we have to ask God. We have to depend on Him and we have to trust Him. It's the only solution to our problems. The enemy gives us the misconception that humans can help us, that we can help ourselves. This is not truth. We let ourselves down and every single human on this Earth will let someone down and that's exactly how God intended it to be. His intention is for us to run to Him when we need help, to lean on Him when we're seeking something to make us feel whole. Only He can provide that for us and the second we realize that things start to make sense. Finally I'm seeing this. Finally I'm doing the asking. Finally I'm realizing that it's not going to happen overnight and I need to be a patient human being. Finally I'm learning to do this. It will take time, it will take obedience, it will take risks, and I need faith. Finally I'm allowing myself to trust - slowly but surely. We all grow at different times and in different ways. And you know what? God knows what He's doing and everything that we go through is all part of His plan. Do not fear. This is a world full of broken people who try to rely on other broken people to heal their own brokenness. This is a world full of broken people who have everything wrong and misconstrued. This is a world full of broken people who really only need one thing and that is Christ.
Lately I've been struggling. Lately I've been praying.
Lately I've been seeing bits and bits of transformation starting and growing.
And even if it's tiny transformation, one step at a time - it's still transformation. It's still God doing work on my heart.
Praise Him.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Love people.
Loving people is probably one of the easiest and hardest things to do on the planet. Yesterday morning I was reading Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller and I was on Chapter 8: Lifeboat Theory. I dove into the chapter reading away, not realizing at that time that God had given me an extra 30 minutes to read that chapter on purpose that morning. I was away for the weekend on a retreat. A retreat with my community of friends (who honestly are family), a retreat in a cabin in the woods, a retreat where we all spent the 24 hours we had hanging out with Jesus and each other. Anyhow, I read. I took time to myself and read words written down by Donald Miller. The Lifeboat Theory is a theory that goes like this - picture a lifeboat full of five people. A male lawyer, a female doctor, a crippled child, a garbageman, and a stay-at-home mom. The lifeboat can't hold all five individuals and someone has to be tossed overboard. Who do you choose? Honestly, I think we'd all pick the male lawyer.. but why? It's a worth thing. We feel the need to label people as having worth. We all do it. We think the Army soldier has more worth than the bum on the street. We think the bubbling bride has more worth than the drunk wedding guest. The list goes on. Do you want the honest truth? We all are worth the very same amount in the only eyes that matter - Christ's eyes.
15And He died for all, so that all those who live might live no longer to and for themselves, but to and for Him Who died and was raised again for their sake.
Matthew 7:3-4
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?
Later on that evening at the retreat, we went over 2 Corinthians 5:14-21. You might read through it and not understand what it has to do with worth and loving people. Amplified version states:
15And He died for all, so that all those who live might live no longer to and for themselves, but to and for Him Who died and was raised again for their sake.
He died for all. Every single person on this Earth, he died for them. Who are we to judge who is better than who? Who are we to pick and choose who gets tossed overboard?
Matthew 7:3-4
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?
Loving people is probably one of the easiest and hardest things to do on the planet. We all see the flaws, the wrongs, and the ugly of everyone we come in contact with. We are the quickest people to judge other people. Why? We are all people and we are all God's people. People are beautiful. God crafted us all to be beautiful, weird, quirky, intelligent, ..fit any of the millions of other adjectives in there for me. He made us all beautiful creatures, to the tee. He made us all the way we are for a reason. We are all beautifully crafted people by the one who is crafted PERFECTLY. Now, what does this have to do with 2 Corinthians?
2 Corinthians 5:16:
2 Corinthians 5:16:
16 So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer.
When we have Christ, we are new. Therefore, we no longer regard anyone from a worldly point of view. That worldly view that makes us choose who is worthy of jumping out of the lifeboat. That worldly view that makes us judge everyone else, but fail to see the plank that's in our very own eye. Yes, it's convicting and it sucks. We are all human, physical beings and we all judge others. But, when you receive Christ and live for Him, we are new. Therefore, we just need to love people.
Amplified version 2 Corinthians 5:17:
17Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come!
My boyfriend, Micah, said something about the previous verse last night that has stuck in my head. The man is just so intelligent, inspiring, deep, and encouraging I don't think he realizes it as often as I wish he did. He pointed out the word ingraft. If you define ingraft it leads to graft which defined can mean - a portion of living tissue surgically transplanted from one part of an individual to another for its adhesion and growth.
My boyfriend, Micah, said something about the previous verse last night that has stuck in my head. The man is just so intelligent, inspiring, deep, and encouraging I don't think he realizes it as often as I wish he did. He pointed out the word ingraft. If you define ingraft it leads to graft which defined can mean - a portion of living tissue surgically transplanted from one part of an individual to another for its adhesion and growth.
Skin grafting. This is a surgery that is used to help burn victims or victims where there is some other form of damage to the skin. It's a process. What Micah was getting at though was this - When someone is ingrafted in Christ he is a new creation. He pointed out the definition of ingraft and starting talking about skin grafting and how that process works. He pointed out that when someone is in Christ, we go through a process. When new skin is added to old or injured skin, in the beginning you may look like a monster created by Victor Frankenstein. There is scarring and ugliness. Which can translate to our own scars, baggage, ugliness, and brokenness. But, once the process begins we heal. We become new. And when we become new, we no longer regard anyone from a worldly point of view.
Becoming a new creation in Christ is a process. But, it's a beautiful process. It's a healing, growing, real process. It's a process that will affect our hearts as humans. It's a process that will cause us to honestly, just love people the way Christ loves us. Patience is needed, as well as courage. But, the treasure at the end of the hunt is phenomenal.
At the retreat we had interview questions that we had to ask a partner, just a little something to get to know everyone better than we thought we already did. After everyone had answered all of the questions we went around the room and introduced our partner. It was time for a young girl that I had been 'mentoring' for several months to be introduced. Her partner went through the questions just as everyone else had and got to the question, "Other than Jesus or a family member who do you admire and why?" The girl had answered with my name. I was who she admired. Why? She said because I was always willing to help her out and I just cared for people. Me. Talk about a humbling experience. It brought tears to my eyes and later in the night I announced how proud I was of her, which made me cry again. It's a feeling you can't describe or compare anything to. Basically being told that, I love someone as Jesus loves us which in turn helped me help someone, is a feeling that doesn't compare to anything. All I had ever done to her was hangout, be myself and real with her, and love her. And man, have I seen her grow. If a little love is all that takes, then give me one good reason why we shouldn't all want to be going through the 'skin grafting' process and heal, and love, and be friends with Jesus and each other.
Love Jesus. Love each other. Love yourself. I'm pretty sure there is not anything in the Bible that is talked about more than love. God is a romantic. Feeling convicted about all of this is a good thing. God works in funny ways. Feeling convicted just means that God is pointing something out in your life that you need to change. It's good. It means that we can now go through the process of dropping the plank out of our own eye before judging the speck in someone else's, the process of ingrafting and becoming new in Christ, and the process of loving all and not regarding people from a worldly view, but from God's view. It's a process that takes time, but time heals. Christ heals.
No matter how much we may dislike a lawyer over a crippled child, we must all stay in the lifeboat. We are all worthy and we are all beautiful. God included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own (2 Corinthians 5:15).
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